25 Incredibly Corny and Naughty Jokes for Your Valentine

Is your name Chapstick? Because I think you're da balm! (And there's plenty more where that came from!) Make Valentine's Day memorable.

Kelly Corbett - Author

Feb. 14 2024, Updated 10:14 a.m. ET

dog with a rose
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It’s almost Valentine's Day, do you know what that means? It's time to pull out your pinks, reds — wine that is, and act like a dad by telling only the cringiest and corniest of all jokes.

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Show your Valentine they’re special by rattling off some silly one-liners. From corny jokes to NSFW naughty jokes, we've rounded up some of our favorite romantic quips.

Cheesy couple making a heart with their hands
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Corny Valentine's Day jokes:

1. Why did the magnet hit on the refrigerator? He found her to be very attractive.

2. What do you call a couple who met on Twitter? Tweethearts.

3. Who always has a date on Valentine's Day? The calendar.

4. What did the sweetheart say to the baker? "I love your buns!"

5. How did the phone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring.

6. How do you get in trouble on Valentine's Day? By stealing too many hearts.

7. Is your name Chapstick? Because I think you're da balm!

8. How do chefs show their love? They whisk you off your feet.

9. Do you know what this shirt is made of? Hubby/wifey material.

10. Do you like Star Wars? Because Yoda only one for me!

11. Did you hear about the two radios that got married? The reception was amazing.

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12. Did you hear about the bed bugs who fell in love? They're getting married in the spring!

13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mary. Mary who? Marry me, I love you.

14. What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you!

15. What kind of dinner does Cupid eat? A heart-y one.

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16. What happened to the two angels who got married? They lived harpily ever after.

17. What did the painter say to his girlfriend? I love you with all my art.

18. How can you save money on Valentine’s gifts? Become single.

19. How did the cashew share its feelings with the almond? I'm nuts about you.

20. Why was the cook arrested on Valentine's Day? She was caught beating an egg.

Naughty Valentine's Day jokes:

21. I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock.

22. My ideal body weight is yours on top of mine.

23. Roses are red, violets are blue, and all my naughty thoughts include you.

24. This holiday may be named after a saint, but nothing I’m going to do to you tonight is church-sanctioned.

25. Is that Cupid’s arrow in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?

Happy Valentine's Day!

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