13 Times Virtual Assistants Were Less Than Helpful

Amber Garrett - Author

Apr. 25 2019, Updated 7:09 p.m. ET

alexa fail
Source: Twitter @yipe

Virtual assistants like Alexa, Siri, and Google Assistant make our lives easier by helping us make grocery lists, create reminders, and even set the mood just by shouting as a tiny device. But nobody's perfect, not even artificial intelligence. Whether they can't understand what we've said or are simply stumped, sometimes our virtual assistants can offer up some confusing and hilarious results. Here are 13 times virtual assistants were absolutely no help at all.

Article continues below advertisement

Remind me not to eat at their house.

Alexa, quick question: I know Amazon sells pretty much everything, but who the hell is selling poop? And who would want to buy it? 

Hint hint.

I've heard of a biological clock ticking, but this is a whole new ballpark. Or, you know, Alexa just misheard "bay leaves" as "babies."

Article continues below advertisement

Close enough.

Sometimes it's clear what you were *trying* to remind yourself to do... even if what Siri hears is total nonsense. 

Article continues below advertisement

Interesting, yes...

...but helpful? Not so much. This user asked how long it takes to cook baby back ribs and instead got some interesting trivia about 18th century British explorer James Cook.

Article continues below advertisement

Alexa needs to take a music history class.

When this Alexa user asked about the first hip hop song, she spat out some facts about a ditty by The Doors. Granted, the song technically has a spoken word section in the middle, but there's not a single music historian who would classify that as hip hop.

Article continues below advertisement

Double fail.

Not only did Siri completely misunderstand what this gentleman was saying — he was asking where the closest FedEx is — but it took "Hucks" and turned it into "hunks." That's a completely different kind of package delivery service, Siri.

Article continues below advertisement

I like the way you're thinking, Alexa.

Apparently this shopper was trying to request "ketchup" be added to the grocery list. IDK, I wouldn't exactly be mad if I got Brad Pitt instead.

Article continues below advertisement

Good luck with that.

This sleepy dad tried to set a reminder to "feed the baby," and instead got a suggestion that 2 a.m. is the time to vanquish your infant. Also,  don't babies come equipped with a built-in "reminder" function already without bringing Alexa into it?

Article continues below advertisement

Sassy and not at all helpful.

This user was actually asking where they could find "beer" near here. Clearly, Siri heard otherwise, but instead of actually answering where one might find an appropriate place to "get weird," the sassy assistant insisted she's "just trying to help you." How exactly, Siri? Where can we get weird?!

Article continues below advertisement

Don't crib off Alexa...

We've seen stories of kids using Alexa to cheat on their homework. Well, based on this answer to a question about U.S. geography, I wouldn't recommend it. When asked for the state capitals, it gave Berlin and Beijing among the answers. And while Washington, D.C. is the capital of the country, it doesn't belong to any state. Two out of five correct answers definitely wouldn't earn you a passing grade.

Article continues below advertisement

Wow, Amazon really has everything...

If you ever questioned whether there is a higher power, Alexa seems to be confirming not only the existence of God but that you can have her sent to your house with free two-day shipping.

Article continues below advertisement

Well, that's a relief.

alexa fail
Source: Twitter @JasonManford

On the one hand, it's a bummer that Alexa misunderstoof this user's command. On the other, I'm super glad she didn't start playing Kate Smith songs.

Article continues below advertisement

An Alexa fail every parent can relate to.

Has there every been a more accurate portrayal of what it means to be the parent of a toddler? Every waking moment is spent either keeping them entertained or keeping them from certain death.

More from Distractify

Latest Humor News and Updates

    Opt-out of personalized ads

    © Copyright 2024 Distractify. Distractify is a registered trademark. All Rights Reserved. People may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Offers may be subject to change without notice.