If you've been in a long-term relationship, you know that couples spend so much time together that they end up creating their own language, their own modes of communication. These little habits are often completely weird and not understood by anyone else. This Ask Reddit thread is full of people sharing the strangest habits they share with their partners, and I have to warn you, these are dangerously cute.
In their relationship, MonocromeRainbow is the "Kiss Monster." She puts a blanket over her head, goes up to her significant other, and "gives him loads of kisses before slinking off again into the night." They've never acknowledged that she is the Kiss Monster.
Ask-design-reddit and their partner do "inverted kissing." "One of us surprises the other by opening their mouth big and covering the other party's puckered-up lips." I definitely know the uncomfortable feeling of having someone's gaping mouth over yours because my partner does this to me too! It's the worst!
For 17 years, octopusboots and their partner have been sneaking a clothespin onto each other's clothes. "Sometimes," they write, "no clothespin for months, and then bam. One in your armpit."
Rock, paper, scissors kissing
Toasterinthetub22 and their partner invented rock, paper, scissors with kissing. A closed mouth is rock, an open mouth is paper, and a tongue sticking out is scissors. I bet this gets messy quickly.
VinoKwine dated someone from Sweden, and he taught them how to say "I love you" in Swedish, which is, "Jag Älskar Dig." They remembered how to pronounce it by saying, "Jog Racecar Day." Eventually, that was shortened, and they'd just say, "Racecar" to mean "Love you."
Danz322 and his partner have been hiding the same penis drawing in their things for the other one to find. She put it in his suitcase when he was on a hunting trip with friends. He put it in her underwear drawer. Then, she hid it somewhere, and he hasn't found it for five years. But it still haunts them. He writes, "She told me I'll find it eventually but I'm afraid of where it might be. I have told her that if she dies before me that she is getting buried with it and I win."
"Well," ThirdFloorNorth writes, "I just wrapped her up in a brown blanket, rolled her back and forth in bed and told her, 'Shhhh be bread, it's OK, just be bread, shhh, loaf-girlfriend, it's OK to become bread' while she cackled and screamed, 'I DON'T WANT TO BE BREAD!'" Amazing.
This is too cute. Najafce's wife usually gets home from work before he does. When he enters, "she comes to me and we both do a little dance while singing a Bollywood song 'Mera Piya Ghar Aaya' (My Love Has Reached Home)," he writes. "And then we hug and greet." What a lovely way to greet each other every day!
FunkySauron and their partner sneak up on each other and bite each other on the neck to "assert dominance." This is adorable as long as you are not constantly afraid of vampires.
When omfgchella and her partner are in the shower, she writes, "he'll cover his body with soap, wrap his arms around me, and then go up and down really fast so he's rubbing soap all over me and cleaning me off. We call this 'Carl wash' cause it's like a car wash for me, but my nickname is Carl and he's washing me off." This is what true love looks like, people.
Wxnderless and her partner puff their bellies out and "make them touch so that the 'babies' can talk to each other." Neither of them is pregnant. But they pretend there are babies in their bellies and touch them together.
StarWarsDude444 gives his partner a butt massage every single night before she goes to bed. Um, I want that. That sounds lovely. I feel like I would sleep so soundly if my butt muscles were all worked out.
Speaking of butts, nermasnek and their partner touch their butts together every night before bed "and do a little wiggle. It's part of our routine now and must be done for optimal sleeping," they write. Well, that's just perfect, and I think all couples should do this.
CopperMeerkat20 says the number one rule that they and their partner have is that "no matter how tempting it might be, you can't poke the other's armpit." This sort of trust is imperative in a relationship. I need to know that when I change my shirt, I'm not all of a sudden going to have to deal with a finger in my armpit.
Most couples have pet names for each other. That's not weird. What is weird is what joeyboii23 and their girlfriend do, which is use "very random and increasingly complex pet names" for each other when they answer the phone. One example is, "Hello my Persian tropical ice cream sweety watermelon minx." They change it up every time. Hilarious.
Raaqu and their partner wrestle for fun. But they clarify: "Not like sexy way or the cute let-the-other-one-win way, but like actual competition." What I want to know is how do they determine who wins?
Detective Tony Pepperoni
I love this one so much. MiaKatRio writes, "Sometimes when I answer the phone, I become Detective Tony Pepperoni, and he's Cheesy Steve and the Saucy Boys. There's never really any warning, it just kinda happens and it gets pretty intense." Do they solve pizza-related mysteries? Do they have catchphrases? I have so many questions.
This one is very sweet but also kind of creepy if you think about it. Dicktremain and their partner "harvest each other's goosebumps." They explain that when one of them gets goosebumps, the other rubs their hand up and down their skin "collecting" them. It's really about soothing the other person, but it sounds like something a serial killer would do.
Lots of couples hold hands or cuddle, but not many do it while they are fighting. But that's exactly what clittle24 and their partner do, and I love it. They write, "It reminds us that we're not fighting against each other, we need to understand each other and work through the issue." This is something I definitely want to implement in my own life.
Flying_Blueberry559 runs out of the bathroom after brushing their teeth every morning and yell, "Fresh mouth!" Their partner gets excited and puckers up for a kiss. If you can be this excited for each other over brushing your teeth, you're definitely going to make it for the long haul.
Recently, pbandjaded's boyfriend "grabs my lips like one would grab an Oreo and kisses me like that." I've definitely done that to my partner. It's silly and funny.
Undergroundramen and their partner make up very elaborate stories about their cats' lives. For example, one will ask where their cat is, and the other will respond, "Oh, she's in Taipei today consulting with the Ukranian Ambassador about the current standing of the silver industry. She'll be back later though because tomorrow she's chartering to Mars at 0600."
Bitingmyownteeth and their partner flip each other off "as a sign of affection." I love this. Whenever my partner flips me off (which only happens in a joking matter), I always grab his hand and kiss his middle finger.
Lillithfair4 and their partner "hoot like owls at each other and call each other 'hooter' as pet names." They do it as "sort of a 'Doing good? Me too. Love you.' thing," and I think that's just perfect.
We do this sometimes, but walkinaroundmoney and their husband always match their snacks to whatever they're watching. If they're watching Napoleon Dynamite, for example, they'll have tater tots. I love doing this, but to do it regularly is some commitment.
This one makes me giggle. Whenever SoManyStarWipes's partner sneezes, they shout, "SHUT UP!" as aggressively as possible, and he responds, "YOU SHUT UP!" They do it everywhere, and they write, "It's gotten to the point where I consciously have to stop myself from shouting at anyone else who sneezes."
Sarahabea and their partner have two dogs, and they have full conversations as the dogs, even when they aren't around them. I want to know if they ever switch roles or if they always play the same dog.
This is adorable. Thegigglesnort's partner sumps laundry on them when it's warm, and they sort socks and underwear from under the pile while he hangs up shirts and folds the pants. They call it the "laundry turtle." I do know what it feels like to hang out under a pile of fresh, warm laundry, and let me tell you, it's one of the best feelings in the world.
This is insane because it's so weird but it's also something my partner and I do to each other regularly. Chronically_varelse writes that they and their partner "steal yawns" by sticking a finger in each other's mouth and touching their tongue while they yawn. It's the most jarring thing to experience. They write that they also do this with their pets, which is something we also do! Too weird.
Digimatter burps their partner. Like she's a baby. Man, I need someone to do that for me.