Taylor Swift's Long-Time Friend Jeff Lang Died When She Was in Her Early Twenties

One of the miracles of Taylor Swift's career to date is the way that she has managed to mine her personal life to write songs that feel universal. On "Ruin the Friendship," Taylor appears to be reflecting on a love that never was with one of her close friends from her high school.

Although she never names who this person was, many have suspected that it was Jeff Lang, whom Taylor has spoken publicly about before, and who died in 2010. Now, many want to know what happened to him.

Jeff died in November of 2010, and his official obituary doesn't contain any information about how he died. Given that Jeff was only a public person because of his relationship with Taylor, and mostly after his death, it seems fair to suggest that his family deserves some privacy about how he died.

After his death, though, Taylor did speak about him at the 2010 BMI Country Music Awards.

“Yesterday, I sang at the funeral of one of my best friends,” she shared during the ceremony. “And he was 21, and I used to play my songs for him first. So I would like to thank Jeff Lang.”

Even 15 years later, though, it's clear that Taylor still has Jeff in her thoughts, and that, even though she's now engaged, he's still one of the roads in her life that she did not take.

Taylor did hint that Jeff was struggling with his mental health on the 2012 song "Forever Winter."

“All this time, I didn't know / You were breakin' down / I’d fall to pieces on the floor / If you weren't around,” she sings in the song. “Too young to know it gets better / I’ll be summer sun for you forever / Forever winter if you go.”

She never states explicitly what happened to him, though.

"Ruin the Friendship" seems to be about Jeff, and specifically about how Taylor was worried she might ruin their friendship if she told him that she loved him.

“When I left school, I lost track of you / Abigail called me with the bad news / Goodbye ... / And we’ll never know why / It was not an invitation,” she sings. “But I flew home anyway / With so much left to say / It was not convenient, no / But I whispered it at the grave / ‘Should’ve kissed you anyway,'" Taylor sings.

Later on in the song, Taylor suggests that she now knows she should have taken the risk instead of wondering about what could have been.

“My advice is always ruin the friendship / Better that than regret it,” she says. “For all time / Should’ve kissed you anyway / And my advice is always answer the question / Better that than to ask it / All your life.”

Clearly, all these years later, this is a friendship that Taylor is still reflecting on.