Statistically, women live longer than men, with the average life expectancy of 81 years for women and 76 for men. There are certainly several factors outside of men's control for this — testosterone is said to contribute to higher risk of heart disease. But it also contributes to some poor decision-making that can lead to an early grave.
Several subreddits are committed solely to documenting the more idiotic feats and stunts humans pull, but the most straightforward in proving my point is one called WhyWomenLiveLonger. Here are a few examples of stunts that are significantly shortening mens' lifespans.
1. Be sure to wear a life jacket!
If you're a weak swimmer or wading into choppy water with an undertow, it's important to have a floatation device. While this man's "plastic bottle belt" is certainly a cool solution if you're, say, trying to catch fish while stranded on a deserted island, I wouldn't recommend it for everyday swimming.
2. I'd be shocked if this ended well.
Let's see, we want to be able to grill up some hot dogs to enjoy with these beers, but nobody wants to get out of the pool. Wait, I've got it, we can just set up a snack table in the middle of the pool. How will we power the electric grill? Don't worry, bro, we can use Trevor's slides to keep the power strip afloat. What could go wrong?
3. "And that's why I'm afraid of zoos now, Doctor."
This is a trick some very irresponsible gator keepers will pull to entertain spectators. It's about as good an idea as it looks. Fun fact: crocodiles chomp down with 3,700 pounds per square inch of bite force. Can you imagine taking your kid to one of those Crocodile Encounters shows and having this trick go wrong? Good luck with those therapy bills.
4. Wait, this is a crime?
Honestly, seems like an effective way to thin the herd. JK, you should really not do this. Yes, bulletproof vests will stop a bullet from penetrating your body, but that doesn't mean you won't injure yourself pulling this stunt. You will likely sustain moderate bruising, possible cracked ribs, and other injuries from blowback.
5. Here, let me help you with that!
It goes without saying that the guy on the ladder is not doing enough thinking here. But honestly, does the guy on the left think he's helping? If the ladder slips, does he really think he's gonna be able to stop it with that grip? I'm sad to say this isn't even close to the stupidest ladder usage in this list.
6. Look at Mr. Independent here...
At least that last guy had a friend there to maybe help if things went awry, whereas this gentleman decided, "Who needs friends when you've got bungee cords?"
It looks like he's installing a ceiling fan, so let's just make sure nobody lets him toss any babies after this installation is over — if he survives to the end, that is.
7. Who needs ladders?
This guy gets it. Ladders are dangerous. Probably best not to use them at all. And why would you need one when every room has a door you can stand on?
I have questions about how he got there. Also, a question I'd like to pose to just about every photographer in this series: "Why do you hate this man? Why did you let him do this?"
8. Indiana Jones you are not.
What guy who grew up with Indiana Jones wouldn't want to learn how to use a whip as deftly as the archeologist adventurer? Seems like maybe you should wear some protective gear while you're learning, though. That is the face of a man who has brutally confronted the disparity between expectations and reality.
9. Somebody call AAA, because this is a Triple F.
That doesn't look like a regulation jack to me. Also, what happens if he accidentally leans back behind him and nudges that beam out of place? I'm worried about this man. Does anyone know if he's still alive?
10. Teamwork makes the dream— what are you doing?!
OK, so obviously after this photo was taken, these three men died, right? I don't even understand how this happened. Does that beam look wide enough to hold the ladder they're standing on to you? How did they even get out there? How do they plan to get back inside? Who is taking that picture? Where are the police?
11. This guy is playing fast and loose with his future kids...
OK, the beam seems pretty securely fastened, but even pro gymnasts can stumble on the balance beam. At least they can rest easy knowing there aren't sharp pegs jutting out from said beam, just waiting to end their family lineage with one false move.
12. The moment you realize you made a huge mistake befriending Jeff.
You're at a friendly cookout, minding your own business, when out of the corner of your eye, you see it: the inevitable. You always knew Jeff's poor decisions would get someone killed. You just thought it would most likely be Jeff himself. Sorry, dude.
13. I call this one a hat trick.
We've got one dangerously hoisted ladder — check! We've got one piece of heavy machinery being used well outside of its intended purpose — that's two! And we've got nearby power lines! You did it guys! You won!
14. What are they even accomplishing?
Dear Barrel Man,
What is it you're trying to do here exactly? Does it seem like a vital task that must be done, proper equipment be damned? How long have you known these men you so clearly trust with your life? I'm not sure I trust anyone enough to let them suspend me even five feet above the ground in a rusty-looking metal drum, let alone however high up you are.
15. Smoking kills
But I imagine it kills a lot more quickly this way. It's already very bad for you, must you bring blowtorches into it?
16. Guys, we could just reschedule the equestrian event...
The story I'm telling myself about this one is that there was a mixup with the facility and they didn't set up the steeplechase course correctly. So, rather than delay or reschedule, these helpful but not very clever chaps volunteered to make sure the show would go on. Noble, but stupid.
17. When you're hungry, you're hungry.
"Look, Jim, renting a hall for our holiday potluck would have set us back a few hundred bucks. Do you want Christmas bonuses or not?"
18. Do you think he made it?
I'm not sure what happened in the moments after this shot was taken, but I feel pretty certain a LOT of shots were taken beforehand.
19. Oh good grief, Norm.
Do I have any context for this photo? No. And I don't need to. I can't think of a single explanation for this tableau that would a) help me make sense of why this is happening, or b) convince me it would be a good idea. What is this for? Is he... mowing the top of that tree? I think I need to go lie down.
20. Ah yes, thank you sir.
Thank goodness this guy is here to set a good example for all the men above. Remember, gentlemen, safety first.