New Mom Asks Sister Not to Wear a Bikini Because Her Husband Isn't "Feeling the Best" About Her Body

Elissa Noblitt - Author

Aug. 29 2023, Published 9:20 a.m. ET

woman in bikini floating on pool float with text overlay
Source: Unsplash; reddit/@Silver-Cattle7362

If you're living on this planet right now, or at least in the United States, you know one thing for sure — it's hot outside. Like, unbearably hot most days. Take it from these Texans, who literally have to water their houses to keep them from crumbling, or this woman who fell asleep in her car and almost melted.

In fact, it's so hot that parts of the ocean are apparently heating up to Jacuzzi temperatures. Fantastic.

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In a climate like this, where just stepping out of your front door can feel like a sweaty chore, folks are often looking for easy ways to escape the heat. And when one Reddit user did so by taking a family trip to a beach club, she was excited to break out her bikini and spend the day cooling off in the ocean. However, when OP's sister approached her and asked her to cover up, she was shocked.

Why, you may ask? Well, her sister is a new mom, and she admitted that her husband wasn't "feeling the best" about the way her body looked after giving birth. Ouch. Read on for the full story, and stick around to see what the internet has to say (though we think you can probably guess).

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crowded beach full of people swimming
Source: Unsplash

This woman's sister asked her not to wear a bikini around her husband.

In her short post on the AITA subreddit, OP starts by explaining that she was on a family vacation with her husband and two-year-old daughter, as well as her sister, her sister's husband, and their one-year-old son. And even though he isn't a lifeguard, OP's brother-in-law was raising red flags all over that beach.

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"Am I the a------ for wearing a bikini even though my sister just had a baby? ... My sister asked me not to wear a bikini or anything revealing because she said both she and [her husband] Adam are not feeling the best about her postpartum body and she really doesn’t want to bring the topic up," she states. EW.

Before we delve deeper into how toxic of a human being Adam is, let it be known that OP did not acquiesce to her sister's wishes: "I said I was sorry she feels that way, but I wasn’t going to spend a day roasting under an umbrella, unable to swim or enjoy myself. I said tons of women would be in bikinis, so I didn’t see why I made a difference."

reddit post sister asks not to wear bikini
Source: reddit/@silver-cattle7362
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OP goes on to say that her sister was "a wreck all day," and refused to come to the beach with the group the following day. To make matters worse, her parents think that she's in the wrong for not agreeing to cover up, and that if she keeps "wearing swimwear, it's going to ruin the trip." Wearing swimwear to the beach? What kind of a monster is she?!

Of course, the situation is a bit complicated. Had OP's sister approached her and said, "Hey, I'm feeling a bit insecure about my body, could you please cover up?" perhaps OP would have been a bit more sympathetic. However, when her husband Adam's feelings become involved, all bets are off.

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OP even goes on to explain that "several times during and after Rachel’s pregnancy, [Adam] asked me about my postpartum diet/workout regimen," presumably to give his wife some unwanted pointers.

However, even though OP explained to him that dieting and exercise were not major players in her routine and that she had actually gotten "surgery and various non-invasive treatments" to attain her ideal post-baby body, that clearly didn't stop him from making his wife feel guilty about hers.

Reddit users think that OP's sister needs an "urgent Adamectomy."

reddit comment sister bikini
Source: reddit/@allaboutbird

Now, listen. Do we empathize with a new mom who is feeling insecure about her changing body in a judgmental world? Absolutely. Do we sympathize with a man who is feeling upset about his wife's bod and making her feel self-conscious after she literally pushed out an entire child for him? Absolutely not.

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Pretty much all the commenter's on OP's post felt this way as well, because the general consensus was that Adam is definitely the problem here. One user suggested leaving him in the room while his wife and her family enjoy the beach "without having her husband judge her."

reddit comment sister bikini: "leave Adam in the room"
Source: reddit/@zookeeper-007
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Some comments even urged OP to have a private conversation with her sister to make sure that she's OK.

"She said both she and her husband are unhappy with her postpartum body? That is VILE," one commenter said. "Her husband should not be body shaming your sister who JUST GAVE BIRTH. Ask your sister if she's OK. Call out your BIL for his disgusting behavior. If my sister told me what she told you, I would be really concerned. I wouldn't necessarily give in to the demand, but I would go out of my way to support her in other ways. It sounds like she needs help."

reddit comment sister bikini: "I hope he doesn't verbalize his concerns about her body"
Source: Reddit/@money-process-9198

So, what do you think? Was OP in the wrong for wearing a bikini to her family beach vacation and making her sister feel insecure? Or do you think there's a bigger issue at play here?

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