The holidays are upon us, folks, which means the weather is getting colder, you are visiting your family, and getting ready to feast on incredible meals you'll remember for the next year to come.
It also means a lot of time chatting with friends and family, and in an effort to avoid the subject of politics (believe us, it's not a fun one to broach mid-food coma), you might want to make sure you come stocked with some funny Xmas jokes that the whole family can enjoy.
Keep reading for Xmas jokes for all ages that'll save you from talking about any uncomfortable topics you might prefer to avoid and keep the peace during this holiday season.
Xmas jokes about Santa, reindeer and elves
1. Q: Who hides in a bakery at Christmas?
A: A mince spy.
2. Q: What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A: A Christmas quacker.
3. Q: Why did Santa's helper see a psychologist?
A: Because he had low "elf" esteem!
4. Q: Did Rudolph go to school?
A: No, he was elf-taught.
5. Q: Who is Santa's favorite singer?
A: Elfis Presley.
6. Q: What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
A: It's Christmas, Eve.
7. Q: How many letters are in the alphabet at Christmas?
A: 25 — There's No-el.
8. Q: Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting?
A: Because they always drop their needles.
9. Q: What did the farmer get for Christmas?
A: A cow-culator.
10. Q: Why did nobody bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?
A: They were two deer.
11. Q: What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
A: "Can you smell carrots?"
12. Q: How did Mary and Joseph figure out baby Jesus was exactly 7 lb 9 oz?
A: They had a weigh in the manger.
13. Q: What carol do they sing in the desert?
A: O Camel Ye Faithful
14. Q: What do you sing for a snowman's birthday party?
A: Freeze a jolly good fellow!
15. Q: Who's Rudolph's favorite singer?
16. Q: Who delivers present to baby sharks at Christmas?
A: Santa Jaws
17. Q: What kind of music do elves listen to?
18. Q: What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?
A: A Holly Davidson.
19. Q: What do reindeer put on their Christmas trees?
20. Q: What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar?
A: He got 25 days.
21. Q: What happened when Santa got stuck in a chimney?
A: He felt Claus-trophobic.
22. Q: What does Santa do when his elves misbehave?
A: He gives them the sack.
23. Q: How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he's visited?
A: He keeps a logbook.
24. Q: What's a good time for Santa to come down the chimney?
25. Q: How can Santa deliver presents during a thunderstorm?
A: His sleigh is flown by rain-deer.
26. Q: What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
A: An abdominal snowman.
27. Q: Why do mummies like the holidays so much?
A: They're into all the wrapping.
Merry Xmas! We hope you have a great holiday and that you enjoy these jokes.
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