Seriously Funny Christmas Jokes That the Whole Family Will Enjoy


Dec. 22 2020, Updated 6:13 p.m. ET

xmas jokes
Source: istock

Folks: The holidays are upon us, and while this year's festivities might be looking different than they have in the past, there is more need than ever for some Xmas cheer.

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Whether you're seeing family and friends, or just need to brighten up your Christmas a bit, you'll want to make sure you're stocked with some funny Xmas jokes that the whole family can enjoy.

Keep reading for Christmas-themed jokes for all ages that'll leave everyone belly laughing before dessert is served.

Xmas jokes about Santa, reindeer, and elves

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xmas jokes
Source: istock

1. Q: Who hides in a bakery at Christmas?
A: A mince spy.

2. Q: What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A: A Christmas quacker.

3. Q: Why did Santa's helper see a psychologist?
A: Because he had low "elf" esteem!

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4. Q: Did Rudolph go to school?
A: No, he was elf-taught.

5. Q: Who is Santa's favorite singer?
A: Elfis Presley.

6. Q: What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
A: It's Christmas, Eve.

7. Q: How many letters are in the alphabet at Christmas?
A: 25 — There's No-el.

xmas jokes
Source: istock
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8. Q: Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting?
A: Because they always drop their needles.

9. Q: What did the farmer get for Christmas?
A: A cow-culator.

10. Q: Why did nobody bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?
A: They were two deer.

11. Q: What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
A: "Can you smell carrots?"

12. Q: How did Mary and Joseph figure out baby Jesus was exactly 7 lb 9 oz?
A: They had a weigh in the manger.

13. Q: What carol do they sing in the desert?
A: O Camel Ye Faithful

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14. Q: What do you sing for a snowman's birthday party?
A: Freeze a jolly good fellow!

15. Q: Who's Rudolph's favorite singer?
A: Beyon-sleigh.

16. Q: Who delivers present to baby sharks at Christmas?
A: Santa Jaws

xmas jokes
Source: istock
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17. Q: What kind of music do elves listen to?
A: Wrap.

18. Q: What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?
A: A Holly Davidson.

19. Q: What do reindeer put on their Christmas trees?
A: Hornaments.

20. Q: What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar?
A: He got 25 days.

21. Q: What happened when Santa got stuck in a chimney?
A: He felt Claus-trophobic.

22. Q: What does Santa do when his elves misbehave?
A: He gives them the sack.

23. Q: How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he's visited?
A: He keeps a logbook.

24. Q: What's a good time for Santa to come down the chimney?
A: Anytime!

25. Q: How can Santa deliver presents during a thunderstorm?
A: His sleigh is flown by rain-deer.

26. Q: What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
A: An abdominal snowman.

27. Q: Why do mummies like the holidays so much?
A: They're into all the wrapping.

Merry Christmas! We hope you have a great holiday and that you enjoyed these jokes.

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