xmas jokes
Source: istock

Seriously Funny Christmas Jokes That the Whole Family Will Enjoy

By

Dec. 22 2020, Published 5:58 p.m. ET

Folks: The holidays are upon us, and while this year's festivities might be looking different than they have in the past, there is more need than ever for some Xmas cheer.

Article continues below advertisement

Whether you're seeing family and friends, or just need to brighten up your Christmas a bit, you'll want to make sure you're stocked with some funny Xmas jokes that the whole family can enjoy.

Keep reading for Christmas-themed jokes for all ages that'll leave everyone belly laughing before dessert is served.

Xmas jokes about Santa, reindeer, and elves

Article continues below advertisement
xmas jokes
Source: istock

1. Q: Who hides in a bakery at Christmas?
A: A mince spy.

2. Q: What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A: A Christmas quacker.

3. Q: Why did Santa's helper see a psychologist?
A: Because he had low "elf" esteem!

Article continues below advertisement

4. Q: Did Rudolph go to school?
A: No, he was elf-taught.

5. Q: Who is Santa's favorite singer?
A: Elfis Presley.

6. Q: What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
A: It's Christmas, Eve.

7. Q: How many letters are in the alphabet at Christmas?
A: 25 — There's No-el.

xmas jokes
Source: istock
Article continues below advertisement

8. Q: Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting?
A: Because they always drop their needles.

9. Q: What did the farmer get for Christmas?
A: A cow-culator.

10. Q: Why did nobody bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?
A: They were two deer.

11. Q: What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
A: "Can you smell carrots?"

12. Q: How did Mary and Joseph figure out baby Jesus was exactly 7 lb 9 oz?
A: They had a weigh in the manger.

13. Q: What carol do they sing in the desert?
A: O Camel Ye Faithful

Article continues below advertisement

14. Q: What do you sing for a snowman's birthday party?
A: Freeze a jolly good fellow!

15. Q: Who's Rudolph's favorite singer?
A: Beyon-sleigh.

16. Q: Who delivers present to baby sharks at Christmas?
A: Santa Jaws

xmas jokes
Source: istock
Article continues below advertisement

17. Q: What kind of music do elves listen to?
A: Wrap.

18. Q: What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?
A: A Holly Davidson.

19. Q: What do reindeer put on their Christmas trees?
A: Hornaments.

20. Q: What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar?
A: He got 25 days.

21. Q: What happened when Santa got stuck in a chimney?
A: He felt Claus-trophobic.

22. Q: What does Santa do when his elves misbehave?
A: He gives them the sack.

23. Q: How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he's visited?
A: He keeps a logbook.

24. Q: What's a good time for Santa to come down the chimney?
A: Anytime!

25. Q: How can Santa deliver presents during a thunderstorm?
A: His sleigh is flown by rain-deer.

26. Q: What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
A: An abdominal snowman.

27. Q: Why do mummies like the holidays so much?
A: They're into all the wrapping.


Merry Christmas! We hope you have a great holiday and that you enjoyed these jokes.

Advertisement
More from Distractify

More From Distractify

  • CONNECT with Distractify
  • Link to Facebook
  • Link to Twitter
  • Link to Instagram
  • Link to Email Subscribe
DistractifyLogo
Do Not Sell My Personal Information

© Copyright 2021 Distractify. Distractify is a registered trademark. All Rights Reserved. People may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Offers may be subject to change without notice.