Valentine’s day is coming up and that means you will be doing one of two things. Either you and your loved one will share a romantic evening, or you will be alone on Twitter. Two equally valid options.
With the first choice you will get to longingly stare as your loved one and wonder how you could ever be apart. With the other choice, you get to sadly stare a glowing rectangle and wonder how you could ever be apart.
Maybe you will get a kiss. Or maybe you won’t.
Perhaps someone will give you chocolate as a gift. Or perhaps you will eat chocolate by yourself because you are a big fatty and no one will ever love you.
Like I said, two equally valid choices.
1. Been there, buddy.
2. And everyday after that
3. It is popular among lonely people
4. I feel worse now
5. Add some mac and cheese and who knows where it will lead.
6. If I can't have true love, why should anyone else?
7. Well, she sounds lovely.
8. You must feel like such an idiot
9. Don't say that!
10. You could buy a valentine with that kind of money
11. Both things can be true!
12. This is always the most awkward thing ever.
13. What were you saying?
14. You may not be able to pull this one again next year, buddy.
15. You have one date? Well, I have twenty ducks!
16. Long may she reign
17. You don't understand me or dishes!
18. Worth it
19. She'll faint with joy
20. Everyone likes to have their love notes workshopped
21. Which one are you?
22. Pain gets worse with drinking
23. It sounds like it is going great
25. It's what I do every year
26. Watch me flaunt my wealth
27. Not too shabby
29. How post-modern
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