15 People Who Meant to Say One Thing and Accidentally Said Something Very Inappropriate Instead

We've all been there. You mean to say something totally innocuous, but you have a Freudian slip and come out with something totally inappropriate instead. You get red in the face, you stumble over the rest of your words, and whoever you were talking to tries and fails not to laugh. 

We all dread being the one to slip up, but it happens, and it happened recently to Jenny Lawson. She shared her story and sparked a giant thread of people sharing similar stories. They will make you laugh and make you very grateful that you were not there.

She just announced out loud to her whole family that not only was she going to try a website for cheating spouses but that she was going to do so...while we're all quarantined. I'm sure in that moment, her entire family questioned whether she was in her right mind.

This is the most awkward version of The Graduate I've ever read. This isn't that naughty, but it certainly seems like the hyper person they were spending time with could have been a child, and in that case, this is definitely inappropriate.

Have you every received an urgent request for pictures of testicles? I haven't. I don't know what I would do in that situation. But I also have no idea how I would handle this if I was Pippa and all of a sudden receiving these pictures. "Um, actually, not what I meant. Sorry. But you might want to get that checked out."

I know that this is a fraught and tragic time, but it really is bringing a smile to my face to imagine a 92-year-old woman go on and on about vibrators. It's the little things these days. 

This story made me actually laugh out loud. But then I got quickly disturbed by the image forming in my head, and I had to watch a puppy video to erase it. Because it was very disturbing. And reminiscent of that scene in American Pie, if you know what I mean.

This is one of those times when I could totally see myself making this mistake. It's embarrassing, but it's also easy to let slide. I imagine that beat of silence lasted a million years though. For both parties.

When you slip up and say something inappropriate like this in a work situation, that is the worst because you have no idea how the other people are going to react. They could laugh it off and tell you not to worry, or they could report you to HR. It's a real crapshoot.

I swear, spell check and autocorrect is the worst. We were much better off with regular typos than ones that change themselves into body parts without our permission. It's like some giant joke on the human race, and I don't appreciate it.

What are these things called though? Hard ball elastics? Hair ruiners? There's no good thing to call them and there is also no good reason to use them, unless you're some sort of masochist who likes to get your hair ripped out. 

I'm sure they knew what she meant, but that's still quite a way to phrase it. There is something sexy about a freshly cleaned car, though, isn't there? I'm sure her mind just went there, you know? 

Honestly, sure, this is kind of funny, but I'm more mad about the fact that this company doesn't have employee parking on site. If there's off-site parking, they better be paying for it, that's all I gotta say!

Was she trying to be funny? Or did she really think that's what the car was called? Either way, it's hilarious. I would honestly kind of love this more if she was doing it on purpose. She's my new hero. I want to be her friend.

They said they would "double-team" their students over the course of six months! Oh my goodness. I wonder how they found out the truth. I can't imagine the moment you realize you've been using a sexually suggestive phrase for six whole months. I'd feel so embarrassed. I don't know if I'd ever be able to show up to class again. 

It would be way funnier if Magellan had circumcised the world. Although if that were true, we wouldn't have Florida. You know that Florida is the foreskin of the world. I'm sorry to any Floridians out there. But it's the truth. I don't make the rules. 

I would not be able to keep a straight face. It's hard enough to concentrate and keep it together while at a religious service of any kind (believe me; I have years of temple services that support this claim), let alone one in which the pastor keeps talking about Jesus' erections.