This Might Be the Most Hilarious Set of 'Bachelor' Bios Yet

The 'Bachelor' bios are here for Peter Weber's season, and we've rounded up the funniest tidbits from the women this season. Read on to find out.

Shannon Raphael - Author

Apr. 13 2020, Updated 3:44 p.m. ET

bachelor bios
Source: ABC

It's truly hard to pick the best part of any given Bachelor or Bachelorette season. Before the show even begins, viewers get hints as to who the contestants are when ABC releases the cast pictures and bios. The amount of "influencers," "beauty queens," "entrepreneurs," and other esoteric job titles that get used in these bios seems to grow each season. Between the bios, the antics from the villain contestant (there's always one), the times someone cries over a balcony, and the group date challenges, there's truly no way to pick the most entertaining part of The Bachelor.

The women vying for Peter Weber's heart have been released (including way more than one flight attendant). We rounded up the funniest part of many of the Bachelor bios and you won't believe the cast of characters that will be on this season. 

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1. Avonlea

Source: ABC

Aside from having a *unique* name that sounds like a knockoff beauty company, (but that actually likely came from the town featured in Anne of Green Gables) a big part of this Texas native's storyline is that she was raised on a cattle farm. But, Avonlea wants you to know that she was always a nice cattle farmer, as her bio notes that "Every time Avonlea milks one of her cows, she thanks it for its hard work." 

If Avonlea sounds more rustic than the average Bachelor contestant, don't fret. When she's not thanking her cows, she's modeling in Dallas.

2. Jenna

Source: ABC

Jenna is the classic girl we all know who studied abroad and was forever changed by it. This nursing student went to Africa on a medial mission and realized that she could no longer be a "pushover" in her daily life.

She also seems to want to be portrayed as an old soul, as her bio points out that she enjoys trivia, knitting, and bowling.

Like Avonlea, Jenna also believes in talking to animals. She converses with her goldfish, George, regularly and she said that he gives "great advice.'

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3. Deandra

Source: ABC

This contestant should have no trouble living in the Bachelor mansion with the other women, considering the fact that she grew up with a whopping 10 siblings.  

If Peter picks Deandra, he can kiss all of his future holiday plans goodbye because a deal-breaker for her is if her husband wants to spend the holidays with his own family. Since Peter's parents were at the After the Final Rose for Hannah Brown's season last year, and they had to stomach hearing about their son's escapades in the windmill, it's likely that he's not going to ditch them for the holidays anytime soon. 

The most relatable part of Deandra's bio is the fact that her major reason for wanting to get married is so that she can have someone who will forever kill spiders for her. Isn't that what we're all after?

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4. Jasmine

Source: ABC

Unlike Deandra's lofty deal breaker expectations, Jasmine's biggest no-no is if a guy doesn't want kids. As for when she'll know Peter is the one? If he can help her build a table. 

Jasmine is also willing to break down gender barriers and be the one to propose, that is if she finds a man who can get her Chick-Fil-A on a Sunday.

Also, her dog's name is Gnarles Barkley which already wins her some points.

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5. Katrina

Source: ABC

Katrina's life is basically like our Thanksgiving dinner nightmare every single day: her family is constantly asking her when she's going to get a boyfriend. 

At 28, Katrina is the second oldest contestant on Peter's season (let that sink in for a second). Her mother has also told her she needs to settle down because "her biological clock is ticking," and her other siblings are in committed relationships.

She also has a hairless cat named Jasmine, which she says is"her most serious relationship." She also admitted that she takes Jasmine everywhere with her, so we can expect to see some tears about missing the cat if Katrina sticks around for a while.

This sentence was arguably the best part of any Bachelor bio:  "Last Halloween, Katrina dressed up as her hairless cat, Jasmine, and Jasmine dressed up as her." We need pictures, stat.

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6. Kelsey

Source: ABC

Kelsey calls herself a professional clothier, which we can only imagine is a fancy way of saying a personal shopper. She also says in her bio that she's not looking for "drama," which is usually exactly what a person looking for drama would say. 

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7. Kylie

Source: ABC

This entertainment sales associate has a five-year plan when it comes to dating, and she already has her life with Peter planned out. According to her, everything is going to work out perfectly with her and Peter.

"Kylie is a planner, and in five years' time, she is hoping to be already married with a child (or one on the way) and living in a home in southern California," her bio says. "Westlake Village [where Peter is from] is basically Los Angeles, so could this all be destiny?"

She also fancies herself a "batting cage queen" since she grew up playing softball. 

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8. Lauren

Source: ABC

There's always at least one Lauren on The Bachelor (it's the most popular name ever on the franchise), but she's shockingly the only one on Peter's season. Her bio is also a goldmine. 

Like many Laurens on the show in the past, this one is a part-time blogger when she's not working as a marketing exec. She's clearly a businesswoman, and that translates into her personal life.

"Lauren says she has exit interviews with all of her exes to figure out what went wrong," her bio reads.

She also used to be a Laker Girl, and she was ultra-inspired by none other than Kobe Bryant. She said that she was so moved by his"passion for things outside of basketball that she left the team to pursue her other dream."

But, the best part of her bio has to be this: "While competitive dance has been her favorite sport, she's always open to a good game of tonsil hockey."

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9. Lexi

Source: ABC

In perhaps one of the more bizarre pieces of information garnered from her bio, Lexi believes that she has it particularly hard when it comes to dating because she is a redhead. 

Lexi has an irrational fear of frogs, and her bio states that she'd rather be buried alive than be in a room of frogs. She already seems ready to talk about her vulnerabilities with Peter.

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10. Madison

Source: ABC

Despite being 23, Madison is still reliving her glory days from high school. Her bio boasts that she led her high school basketball team to four state championships back in the day, and she was named MVP.

Madison is very religious, and she said that if she was on a stranded island, she'd bring the Bible. She also wants to do missionary work in the future (preferably with her husband). Perhaps she should be set up with Luke P. from Hannah Brown's season instead?

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11. Payton

Source: ABC

"Payton is the type of woman who goes into a bar alone and leaves with 100 new best friends," her bio reads, which means she's like every woman who's ever gone to the bathroom on a night out (there's no sorority quite like the one in a bar's bathroom). 

She also proudly lives in her parent's basement, which isn't surprising considering she's from Wellesley, MA AKA the seventh wealthiest city in the country.

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12. Tammy

Source: ABC

Nobody should mess with Tammy because she was on her high school's boy's wrestling team and she had a 7-1 record. 

Tammy also admits that she doesn't like "blonde Barbie" women, which doesn't bode well considering this cast of women.

The Bachelor Season 24 premieres on Jan. 6 at 8 p.m. on ABC.

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