For famous anonymous street artist Banksy, the stay-at-home order had to really put a crimp in his style, you know? When you are famous for your in-public graffiti and all of a sudden, you can't be in public anymore, that's going to put a damper on your craft.
But he's creative. He may be quarantining like the rest of us, but he's still an artist. And so, he's just released some new work. From his bathroom. In his house.
This is incredible. Now I'm just imagining Banksy pleading with his wife to take over the bathroom for an art project, being like, "I'll clean it all up. I swear!" and her being like, "OK, but please don't waste any toilet paper. We only have a few rolls left. Also we have a Zoom call with your parents at 4, so you have to be done by then." and him being like, "It'll be great. So quick. You won't even know I was in there," and then after, her going into the bathroom being like, "Ughhhh, BANKSY! [Writer's note: Banksy's wife calls him Banksy when she's mad at him, obviously] What the f--k?! There's toilet paper all over the floor!" and him being like, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I got distracted by my almost two million likes on Instagram, sorry I'm so famous," and her being like, "I literally do not care about your 'likes.' Clean the bathroom," and him being like, "OK, Mom," and her being like, "What did you say to me?" and him being like, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I said a bad thing. I didn't mean it," and her being like, "Clean it up. Now." and him being like, "I will. I'm sorry. I will."
Whew. Got carried away imagining that conversation between Banksy and his wife there. Sorry. But I think that's probably how it went down. Banksy might be a world-renowned mysterious artist but, to his wife, he's just the annoying dude who smeared their toothpaste all over the wall.
Obviously, there is the possibility that this is not actually Banksy's bathroom. Plenty of people have pointed out that his art has been auctioned for millions of dollars. You would think that he'd live in some chic, artist loft somewhere or something with a nicer bathroom than this.
But I prefer to think that this is the actual bathroom in the modest home Banksy shares with his wife, a beleaguered woman who has become increasingly exasperated with her husband in the last few weeks because he's an "artist" who is "confined" to his home and hasn't been able to "express himself."
There is every chance that Banksy isn't as insufferable as this, but it is bringing me great joy to imagine this, so I'm rolling with it. If you're the real Banksy and you want to set the record straight, feel free to email me. I'd be happy to talk.
But in all seriousness, Banksy's done something really interesting here. If you think about this piece, it's revolutionary. Because while most of the rats are wreaking havoc in this bathroom, I mean, really just messing things up, there is one who is clearly heads and tails above the rest in intelligence.
While the other rats are swinging from towel hooks and destroying toilet paper, this rat is peeing in the toilet. Not only that, but he's aiming! This is the world's most intelligent rat!
And that's clearly the lesson of this Banksy piece. Rats are smarter than people. This rat specifically. This rat for President of the United States 2020. Thanks, Banksy. We need Smart Rat. More than ever.