Yesterday, there was the husband who refused to get a vasectomy because he basically wanted to trick his wife into having more kids than she wanted. Today, it's a boyfriend in his early 20s whose girlfriend began to catch on to how "weird" he was being about birth control.
A struggling woman posted to Reddit's Relationships subreddit about how controlling her boyfriend was being lately about her menstrual cycle and her birth control. What she describes is absolutely insane and, luckily, the good people of Reddit confirmed her fears and helped her articulate why what he is doing is abusive.
She explains that they've been dating for less than a year and have had "lots of ups and downs." But the thing that's disturbing her the most is that, she writes, "He's VERY stingy about us using protection." She explains she's not on birth control for a variety of reasons, and he "sheepishly agreed to use protection."
But, she writes, "He insists on buying the condoms himself. When I do buy them, he insists on having them in his house." He has freaked out on her for not taking their "family planning" seriously. (It remains to be explained if they've ever talked about wanting to have kids together; they're both quite young.)
On top of all that, he monitors her menstrual cycle, even using the same app she does to keep track of it. He asks her intimate personal details about her blood flow and other graphic things during her period, which would be OK if there was a good reason for it, like concern about her health or something. But creepily asking, "Do you know how to precisely locate your cervix position?" out of nowhere is not normal.
She says they've had unprotected sex many times and that he "has this icky habit of putting a condom on and taking it off last minute," which is straight-up rape! She admits that she's been too lenient about the unprotected sex and that they have had two terrifying pregnancy scares. Recently, she found out he told his mom about the possible pregnancies and her response was "ecstatic." It's clear at this point he's trying to trap her into pregnancy.
For OP, the last straw came shortly after her doctor recommended new birth control pills that might work for her. She was so excited about it, but when she told her boyfriend, "he freaked out worse" than she's ever seen. He wanted to come with her to the doctor and claimed he should be "involved" in her medical care.
Commenters didn't hesitate to call out his behavior for what it is: abuse, assault, and rape. As one person wrote, "He is coercing you to say yes to something you have said no to already. TBH, I wouldn't be surprised if he had put holes in the condoms too. He's super controlling and mad when you get other birth control? He's trying to get pregnant as a control tactic."
So many people tried to make it clear in the comments that this dude is bad news. In all caps, one person wrote, "HE IS TRYING TO TRAP YOU INTO PREGNANCY." It's as simple as that. He doesn't see her as having agency in this matter... which will affect her entire life.
Luckily, OP took to the comments to share an incredible update. She ended up telling her mom everything, and, like the awesome mama bear she is, OP writes, "She flipped. She screamed (not at me) and cried and the whole shebang." She never liked him, and now it was suddenly clear why.
Her mom called the boyfriend herself and reamed him out. She grounded OP (who's 22, but kind of OK with it), blocked him from all social media, told all of their family members to block him, and OP told her friends what happened. Her mom put an end to this toxic situation immediately. We have to stan!
OP writes that she's heartbroken but also relieved. "Relief because even if I wanted to, now I can't reach him." She is hurt and sad, but also knows she's free from a terrible, abusive situation. Seems like OP's mom has this under control. I just wish more Reddit stories could end with a woman going full mama bear on a gross dude.