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Source: Warner Bros. / Twitter

Standup Comedian Paid an Essay-Writing Service to Write Her New Material and It's Priceless

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It can be hard to keep coming up with fresh bits to open your sets when you're a standup comic. You don't want to get stuck doing the same jokes over and over, and so sometimes, you have to reach out to unexpected places for inspiration. New York-based standup comedian Rachel McCartney needed a new opener, so she turned to one of those services that you can pay to write essays for you. 

On Twitter, she started her thread by writing, "I paid one of those sites that sells college essays to watch a minute of my standup and then write a list of new openers. This is what they came back with..."

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Source: Twitter

I can already tell that is going to be the best, worst, most hilarious, most confusing list of jokes you will ever read in your life. What is this? It's almost a joke, but it's mostly nonsense. Keep in mind, these are the jokes they suggest she open her entire set with.