When you consider death, it's probably not automatically the funniest thing in the world. In fact, it's the opposite. It's usually quite sad. So when the people who pass away and their loved ones commit to making people and themselves laugh, it's extra hilarious. These people didn't give up their (very strong) personalities just because they shuffled off this mortal coil.
Told you so
If there's anything I love, it's a petty person who always needs to get the last word. So Billy here is a personal hero of mine. He was right! You guys were wrong. Even though he died, he still got the last laugh.
Short and sweet
Doug was not about wasting anybody's time. The ultimate purpose of an obituary is to inform others that someone has moved on from this world, and Doug decided his would do that and only that. It's very much appreciated.
"Well this sucks"
There's no sugar-coating it for the Mitchell family. Death sucks! And they're going to say it! I love when people's graves are benches for people to sit on, but sitting on this one would make me feel weird. I think I'd have to apologize to them first.
In lieu of flowers...
Many people ask for mourners to donate to a charity or something in lieu of bringing flowers to a funeral service. But this family thought it would be more appropriate to encourage others to go to see the new James Bond movie. It's what Jack, the movie buff, would have wanted.
Joseph A. Heller
Joseph's obituary is filled with gems. This was clearly a man with a great sense of humor. "When the doctors confronted his daughters with the news last week that 'your father is a very sick man,' in unison they replied, 'You have no idea.'" And it only gets funnier from there, right up until the very last line, which acknowledges their mother who preceded him: "Sorry, Mom, Lisette and I did the best we could to take care of him and keep him out of your hair as long as we could. Back in your court now."
Bounce house funeral
I don't want to be buried in a cemetery when I die, but the prospect of having a bounce house at my funeral is kind of changing my mind. It's a perfect idea. You can't help but feel better while you're jumping up and down.
"If you can read this..."
Janet able to do two important things with this "If you're reading this, you're standing on my boobs" message on her headstone. One, she can still embarrass the people who visit her in death. And two, she found a way to remind people about her boobs. Good for her. She's my hero.
The last will
This is legendary, but I'm not quite clear on the whole "wrapped in a sheet but with my arms unrestricted" thing. Is that so in case there's a zombie uprising, it will be easier for him to participate?
In the third paragraph, this obituary really takes a turn. I mean, what a plot twist! Kathleen seems to have left two fairly bitter children behind who weren't about to mince words about their mother. This one is a big 'ol "Yikes!"
I love the idea of writing your own obituary. I'm glad Jean had the time and the ability to do it because this is priceless. "Please remember this," she wrote, "Never let the facts get in the way of a good story; the middle finger is sign language; when someone gives, take' when someone takes, scream; and take care of yourself." That's some good advice right there.
I'm pretty sure this is a typo and it should read, "Remember that you are but dust and into dust you shall return." However, I like "butt dust" so much better. It's more poetic. We're all just farts, floating through the air.
Mad Libs obituary
This is the perfect obituary for the founder of Mad Libs. I don't care how old you are. Mad Libs are so fun and funny and you will lose your mind laughing every time you do them.
Ruth Miner, even in death, wasn't going to go ahead and pretend she believed in God. She was an atheist even through the very end. At least she's probably got a nice dress on!
Just missed it
George got his wish to die before having to watch the presidential debate in September of 2016. And honestly, good for him. Hindsight is 20 / 20, except for George, who also had 20 / 20 foresight.
"I'd rather be reading this"
Esther was honest; she'd rather be alive than dead. Wouldn't we all?! But I guess while we're alive, we don't know what it's like to be dead. Maybe it's way better! Maybe there is a heaven and it's filled with chocolate and puppies and marshmallows!
Speaking of chocolate, Kay wasn't about to give up her time on Earth without passing down her fudge recipe. It's now etched in stone and available for everyone. Would it be weird to actually make this gravestone fudge? Because I'm tempted!
This woman's family wasn't about to let those traitors who weren't there for her when she was sick publicly mourn her in her death. I love the brutal honesty here. Sometimes people put on a nice face when they're dealing with death, and they shouldn't have to!
When filling out his funeral request, this guy had only one stipulation: "Jason [his brother], to give eulogy after inhaling a balloon containing helium." I love this so much. People won't be able to keep a straight face.
Tthis guy got in one last jab at the Cleveland Browns before he died. Imagine having to be a pall bearer for this dude knowing why he wanted you there. It's so funny and perfect and I love it so much.
Imagine going to your grandma's funeral, as this person did, and sitting there, jaw agape as several members of the Hell's Angels show up to pay their respects. What was this woman's life?! She was clearly a total badass.