Take This Job and Shove It: 15 Outrageous Resignation Letters

Amber Garrett - Author

Mar. 13 2019, Updated 11:45 a.m. ET

scarface half baked
Source: Universal Pictures

No matter how much you hate your job, it's usually advisable to be as professional as possible when tendering your resignation. After all, you never know when you'll need a recommendation from someone within the organization — not to mention, future employers can contact pretty much anyone they want from your job history, whether you've listed them as a reference or not.

These 15 people definitely didn't heed that sage career advice, but as lacking as their resignations are in tact and decorum they more than make up for in chutzpah and laughs.

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These shoes were made for walking

Sometimes a bad boss can push you to your limit, but it's rare for all the staff to reach that breaking point at the same time. From the looks of things, these three retail employees had it with their abusive boss and made it known by quitting together and leaving the store closed for business along with the following note:

"Dear Jamie, Since you decided to say "cancer is not an excuse" and think it's OK to swear at your employees like you do ALL the time... WE QUIT. THIS is why you can't keep a store manager longer than a year. YOU ABUSE your roll [sic[ and staff. Enjoy the fact that you lost a store manager, co-manager, and key holder in the middle of back to school. Think next time you treat people the way you do. We aren't allowing it anymore. Niki, Jess, TJ."

You had me at "cancer is not an excuse," Niki, Jess and TJ.

Parting is such sweet fondant.

Now this is one way to sugarcoat your resignation. Chris Holmes decided his true passion was in baking, and we think he's got a real future in it, judging from his notice. Impeccably hand-lettered in icing on pristine white fondant, the letter is actually very police and otherwise professional. "I wish the organisation and my colleagues the best for the future and I remind you that, if you enjoy this cake, you can order more at www.mrcake.co.uk," he concludes the message.

Judging from his site, it was the right career move. 

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This cake tastes bitter.

This cake isn't quite as nice as Chris's. Not only is it clearly store-bought — not classy, bro —but the message is slightly less heartfelt. It reads, "#?!@ ya'll [sic] I quit!" 

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He seemed like such a nice guy, too.

In 1974, Ted Bundy worked at the Washington Department of Emergency (where he met his future wife and possible mother of his daughter, Carol Boone), but he quit to pursue law school (and also to kill a bunch more women in Colorado, Utah, and eventually Florida). Here is the letter with which he tendered his resignation, and he truly has the handwriting of a serial killer. 

"It is with some regret, not much, but some regret that I submit this my final resignation. Try to persuade me to stay. Bribe me. Slash my tires. But the world needs me, " he writes. Did it, Ted? 

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Something tells me that's not his contact info...

andrew resignation letter
Source: Imgur

Andrew here not only knows how to burn a bridge but keep it succinct. In this pithy little message memo, he informs "The boss" that Andrew (ex-employee) is quitting as of 3 p.m. with the following message. "You are a drunken pig with no foresight or business acumen. I hope you die in a house fire. F--k you I quit." The best part is the email and phone number he provided: 1-800-KISS-MY-A** and smokec**k@yourexpense.com.

You kiss your mom with that mouth, Andrew?

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Say it with Kanye.

marina shifrin quit video

Marina Shifrin worked long hours producing video content for Next Media Animation, so it's only fitting that she tendered her resignation with a video. She filmed herself in the otherwise empty office at 4:30 a.m. dancing to Kanye West's "Gone" while explaining why she was leaving. Frustrated with the long hours and a focus on quantity of views over quality of content, Marina decided it was time to move on to greener pastures. Her employers responded to the viral video with one of their own, declaring that they were hiring.

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Be nice to the marquee guy...

As a rule, bosses should treat all their employees with respect, but judging from all the marquee resignations out there, managers would do well especially to be kind to whoever they've put in charge up updating signs like this one.

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His career is in the toilet.

toilet paper resignation
Source: imgur

Moments of clarity can occur at the strangest times and in the strangest places. For Luke here, the realization his work life was unsatisfying apparently came while on a potty break. "Though real hard as I squeezed out a big one, and realized this place is a dump," he writes. So, I'm flushing you out of my life... I quit. - Luke."

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This guy's job is extinct.

dinosaur resignation letter
Source: cheezburger

"This is a drawing of a dinosaur," the note begins.  And it is indeed a very good drawing of a dinosaur. "It is also my two weeks notice," it concludes. Here's hoping the artist has moved on to explore their passions for illustration and/or paleontology.

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Bed Bath & Beyond Savage

bed bath beyond resignation
Source: reddit

My question is, how long did it take this boss to notice the parting gift an ex-employee left behind? On their last day, a Bed Bath & Beyond employee shared their real thoughts in this display tag for an infrared oven. Along with bullets describing the product features, they also inform the customer that "my boss is a prick," and "I'm quitting today." 

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Can you blame them?

resignation letter drunk employee
Source: reddit

There are a few clear signs you need to quit your job, and a threat to your safety is top of the list, especially if your boss won't do anything about it. So kudos to the ex-employee who drew a line in the sand and walked out on a boss that didn't have their back. "I was attacked at work by a drunk employee and my boss won't fire him because he's too lazy to work the open shift so... I quit!!!" they wrote on a note explaining to customers why no one was their to help them. 

"Someone will (probably) be with you shortly. Have a swell day."

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Our sympathies

If you don't know how to say goodbye, let Hallmark do it for you. Alex here went for a sympathy card with a message that reads, "Even though you knew this time would come, there's no way to prepare your heart for such a loss. I am so sorry." In lieu of flowers, please send resumes to help Alex's boss find their replacement.

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I liked it better with Hugh Grant and Sandra Bullock.

Though we'll never know about their meet-cute, we're glad Stephen and his boss got to have this lighthearted romp at the end of their working relationship.

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Your dream job is in another castle.

mario resignation
Source: http://www.farbs.org/Message.html

A software developer decided to strike out on his own as an indie games development, so he fittingly designed a playable Super Mario Bros clone that informed the player he was leaving.

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Slightly better than ghosting?

Vanessa here took a page from the players' handbook with her resignation letter. "New job, who dis?" she wrote before signing off, "Yours sincerely, Vanessa."

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