Vanessa Van Winkle is a real estate agent, so she sees a lot of homes. And not all of them are well-designed...or even make the slightest bit of sense. Vanessa recently shared some of the photos she and other agents have taken of the most bizarre, badly-designed houses they've ever seen, and Reddit is chock full of them, too. These are some of the most bonkers design decisions that have ever been made in houses.
Who? What? Why? Those are just some of the questions I have about this bathroom. The toilet is fuzzy. The toilet! It even looks like the seat, the actual place where you put your bum, is carpeted. And don't get me started on that print. It's like your grandmother's garden threw up in here. The most appalling thing about this is that several people were probably involved in ideating and building this bathroom.
Hey, don't you want to live — I mean bathe — on the edge? And by the edge, I mean literally the edge of the staircase. One wrong, slippery step, and that's the end of your life...or at least the end of your dignity. If you're not taking a bath at the top of the stairs with literally nowhere to safely step out of the tub, you're not living. Period. Taking a bath in this house is an extreme sport, people!
I'm sure if you have perfectionist tendencies, this picture is driving you nuts. It is making me crazy. I want to pick up the phone and call my senator about this picture. It's so wrong I can barely comprehend how it exists. The circle is right there! It even has like eight arrow thingies pointing to the center where the chandelier is 100 percent supposed to be. What went wrong here that resulted in this nonsense?
I'm trying to imagine walking into this bathroom and turning around to use it. I don't know how it could happen. I'd get stuck! I suppose if you were someone with male genitals, you could walk right up to the toilet, do your business, and then back out doing a Michael Jackson-esque moonwalk. (You don't have to do the moonwalk, but why wouldn't you in any situation where you could?) This might be the worst bathroom I've ever seen.
This one is really hard because I actually kind of like the dark wood and the slate tiles, but yes, that is a bathtub right next to a kitchen, and I'm sorry, but that is wrong. I don't want soap in my soup and I don't want soup in my soap. Now, it looks like this might be a little pool house or vacation home, but I've seen plenty of those that don't have bathrooms in their kitchens. It's super easy to avoid!
Any person who carpets their bathroom should be thrown in jail for life. There is no way that carpet stays dry or clean. I honestly can't even wrap my head around everything that is going on in this picture. The carpet comes all the way up the sides of the tub, there are fancy wooden bed posts around the tub... and is that a baseboard heater? On the side of the tub? I feel like someone thought they were being really clever when they built this bathroom. They were not.
This one is too much. The toilet paper holder is installed directly above the air vent, so air keeps blowing toilet paper all over the place. This is one of those design problems that could have so easily been avoided. It doesn't take too much to install a toilet paper holder. They definitely could have put it somewhere else. Anywhere else. But they did not. And now, grabbing toilet paper is a game of cat and mouse.
Here's a science tip for you: Wood can easily catch on fire. So, if you are building a fire escape, maybe don't make it out of a material that literally cannot escape fire when it's around. In fact, it's one of fire's favorite things to eat. Additionally, this looks like one of the ricketiest ladders I have ever seen. In an emergency, you'll either get burned up with your fire escape or end up with thousands of splinters.
I have no words. Is this the basement of the house with the chandelier? Is everything just slightly off? This is super concerning because wooden beams like this aren't generally just for show. They have a job, and that job is to literally keep the house standing. If the beam is only balancing on a portion of the ceiling, something terrible is going on. Also, what is that big block?! Did they make the beam too short to reach the ceiling, so they had to add more ceiling? I am very concerned.
I just don't understand. They could have put the toilet up against the wall. Or around the corner where the toilet paper is. Or on the opposite wall next to the cabinet. Why would they make this choice? Did they install the toilet first and then have to build the rest of the bathroom around it? With the toilet in the position it is, I it seems to me that you'd feel like you were in "time out" any time you had to use it.
Yes, that is a closet...six feet in the air...with no stairs or ladder or possible way of entering it. At least they say it's a closet. But I have another theory. Have you ever read Jane Eyre? You know how Mr. Rochester was keeping Bertha, his violent, mentally ill wife in the attic? I feel like this is another Bertha situation. There's definitely a dangerous person living in that closet who may one day burn the whole house down.
It's a good thing I don't live in this house because I would have ripped every one of those drawers out of the unit by this point. This is extremely annoying. I love me some closet and drawer space. I thrive on it. I love putting things in drawers. So the idea of drawers that are fully functional but blocked by a wide countertop is totally making me crazy. It's the worst kind of tease, and I can't handle it.
What a lovely landscaped yard! Too bad that, now that you've done that, you can never drive your car into your driveway again, unless you want to destroy all those bushes. I wouldn't be surprised if this house is in Southern California. People in Southern California rarely use their garages for their cars. Because the weather is always fine, they don't need to. And because of earthquakes, SoCal houses rarely have basements, so garages become mostly storage areas.
I've seen houses like this that have doors on the second or third floor that lead absolutely nowhere. It's unnerving, especially if you are the person who opens the door and tries to step out. But I finally learned what this is all about! Sometimes, building companies will build doors like these because people want to add a patio, but often the patio is the responsibility of the homeowner to build or commission. So if they haven't decided on a company to build their patio, sometimes they just have errant doors in the side of their house.
You know what they always say... The refrigerator is the heart of the kitchen. Oh, wait! Just kidding. Literally no one has ever said that ever, and it makes no sense to put the fridge in the middle of the room and build a whole wall around it. I really think they built the whole kitchen and then looked around and were like, "Oh crap! We forgot to make a space for the refrigerator!" And so they did this.