Instagram Chronicles the Silly Things Kids Say When Their Parents Aren't Around

Live from Snack Time collects hilarious questions and comments from little kids in one perfect Instagram account.

Robin Zlotnick - Author

Nov. 18 2019, Updated 3:40 p.m. ET

featured live from snacktime

Kids say the darnedest things. We know this because there was a whole television show centered around this concept. Kids have no filter, especially when they're not around their parents. That's why elementary school teacher Alyssa Cowit and marketing manager Greg Dunbar started Live from Snack Time, a website and Instagram account devoted to the adorable, weird, and precious things that little kids come up with on a regular basis. 

The account takes submissions from teachers and parents, and all the entries illustrate just how curious and hilarious and unintentionally wise little kids can be. These are some of our favorites.

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Believe me, Ali, I know the feeling. It's frankly appalling that we have to get up early, shower, get dressed, get our stuff together, go to school or work, come home, and then do it again the next day. It's a lot.

Bad words

This is a perfect tactic for expressing frustration or, as I suspect this 5-year-old is doing, just trying out new words. You'll be surprised at what comes out of your mouth when you let anything go. 

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Uh oh. Sounds like Sophia got ahold of someone's phone. Now, this person has to either explain their sad dating life to a 7-year-old or make up an elaborate story about the family Tinder. I think the second one is probably easier.

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Um, is this 6-year-old secretly Yoda? How can a small child be so wise? You can't change the way a day starts, but you can make the choice to change the way it ends and make sure you bring positivity into the world. 

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Cream cheese

I mean, whomst in their day has not had a little shower cream cheese? It's just what you have to do sometimes. Cream cheese is that good. We get it, kid.

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Teddy is a veritable wordsmith. He should be hired by the Oxford English Dictionary to come up with nicknames for all words. Because "nudies" is perfect.

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Favorite color

Synesthesia could explain this comment... This kid could actually see a color when they think of ice cream, but it's entirely possible that this is abstract poetry, too. 

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"If you're upsetti, eat spaghetti" is some of the most solid advice I've heard in a long time. You simply can't be upset while slurping on those long, slippery nudies (see what I did there?). 

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Emeri coming in with the realistic life goals! I love it. When I was five, all I wanted to be when I grew up was a cashier. I thought using a cash register seemed so cool. 

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Obviously, if a taco knocks on your door, you have to let it in. It's probably delicious. It might be rude to eat your houseguest right after you welcome them into your home, but it's a taco, so I understand if you can't control yourself. 

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Welcome to the biggest struggle of everyone's life. Every day is a balancing act where we all try to find the perfect ratio of work to sleep. We almost never get it right, and that's why life is so frustrating.

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Crystal clear

There's no one more brutally honest than a small child. And this is one harsh takedown. I expect it's made even more dramatic when the 4--year-old puts their glasses on to see you and jumps in fright like they've just seen a werewolf. 

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Welcome to life, Ariana. The only time we're not worrying about the future is when we're asleep, and sometimes you can't fall asleep because you're worrying about the future. It's a real conundrum. 

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Little Crudités

I don't know how a 7-year-old learned the term "crudités" and then decided to include it in their rapper name, but I am here for it. I imagine them crunching on carrots like a boss in their music videos.

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"So true, Ellie. So true," I whisper to myself between bites of cookie at eight o'clock in the morning while my egg fries in the pan on the stove. Ellie gets it.

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Water birds

This is a great question. Birds have wings. Fish have fins, which are basically water wings. If there weren't already a classification of birds called water birds, I would suggest a total overhaul of the way we name ocean life. 

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Tell me

Sometimes you just need a kiss on the forehead and some reassurance that you're loved. That's OK. That's important. And you deserve it.

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I think maybe I should get this tattooed on my arm. Also, if you sing this to the tune of "Part of Your World" from The Little Mermaid, it's so good but also somehow 100 times sadder.

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Dude, tell me about it. This is the truest statement ever, especially when you're still in school. August is hot and dreadful because all you're thinking about on that last trip to the beach is how you have three summer reading books to complete in the next two weeks, but all you want to be thinking about is how you're at the beach having fun. 

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There's nothing like bringing up a fight from three years ago. The grudge courses through your veins, becomes more powerful with time, and ultimately rears its ugly head when that person does something totally unrelated that slightly bothers you. 

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Oh, do you also go around asking people for spare bagels? Listen, you don't know until you ask, and what are you going to do? Give up even the chance to have an extra bagel? I think not. 

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Sometimes, you have to be direct and ask for what you want. This little kid wanted to be wrapped up like a burrito and carried around, and if I'm being honest, this is also what I want. Any takers?

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This is a real "no, but it should!" situation. It actually stands for sun protection factor, but that is way less cool than the sun fighter police. 

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I love this one so much. Usually, when adults tell each other they have bugs on them, it's a total freak out situation. This kid is like, yes, there is a bug on your shirt, but it is werking for you. 

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Sometimes you don't really know what you need until you get the thing you definitely don't. Spoiler alert: No matter what you think you need, pancakes always make any situation better.

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Rayna's got it all figured out. Your partner should share all the snacks with you. If they don't, kick 'em to the curb and get a new one! 

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Grown up

Yes you will, Mina. Someday, you'll be paying bills and rent and wondering where it all went wrong. But then you'll go to the grocery store and buy yourself as much chocolate as you want, and you'll realize you're better off. 

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Food mood

This is a piece of wisdom for the ages! Forget the opposite sentiment, the negativity of being "hangry," and think about how happy you are when you have good food! Good food, good mood indeed!

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Cake hug

This is beautiful. Have you ever looked at a cake and been like, "To merely 'eat' this cake is insufficient. I want to do something more to it. I want to hug it with my mouth"? Because I definitely have.

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Truer words have never been spoken. When a bear eats your whole family, things get very serious. That being said, most bears just hang out and don't attack people without being provoked, so we should be good as long as we don't bother them.

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