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Source: Warner Bros

Guy Argues He's Only Been With Girlfriend for a Year Because They Broke Up for 90 Minutes Once

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While this story is one of the sillier entries on Reddit's "Am I the A-hole?" it will still leave you wanting to tell the poor woman trapped in this horrible relationship to run away and never return. This dude explains that he and his girlfriend dated their last year of high school and all four years of college. 

Then, last year, when they were discussing grad school, he was considering attending a school several states away that had accepted him, which caused a huge fight with his girlfriend about it. They broke up. 

But after, they "ended up cooling down and agreeing to try long distance and got back together during the same argument." So, they were broken up for maybe, tops, a couple of hours. Probably not even that long.

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Source: iStock Photo

None of it even mattered because then he got accepted to a closer school and they didn't even have to try the long distance thing. So, to recap, they dated through their last year of high school, all four years of college, and then broke up for half a second when they were arguing about grad school last year. Since then, it's been a year. 

Seems straightforward to me, but dudes have to mess everything up, don't they? He writes, "We both thought that we were together for six years until now, but I realize that’s not actually true. 

"I recently read a philosophy book about the vagueness of language and how we mostly just use inexact descriptions of things and that any true clarity is impossible using human language, but that we should still strive for precision whenever possible. I thought that was interesting and now I realize it’s not exactly true to say that my GF and I have been together for six years."

Are you rolling your eyes yet? Because I am. He thinks it's more accurate to say they've been dating for one year, even though that totally negates their entire relationship and again, when they broke up, they got back together within the same argument

He says that if you had a 5-inch piece of string and a 1-inch piece of string, you wouldn't say you had a 6-inch piece of string. I would argue that if you had a 6-inch piece of string and you cut one teeny-tiny thread on that 6-inch piece, you'd still have a 6-inch piece. 

Basically, he's being a pedantic a-hole. His girlfriend obviously "vehemently disagrees" with him because she is smart and he is not. He writes, "She says that it's pedantic, disrespectful to our relationship by minimizing it, and actually communicates less than I think it does since she feels the need to correct me every time I say it." 

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Source: iStock Photo

Um, yeah. That's understandable. Could you imagine if you had an argument once where you momentarily broke up, and your boyfriend believes that 5/6ths of your relationship is completely erased because of that? It's beyond infuriating. 

He writes, "She says that one and half hours during an argument isn’t a break and that it’s stupid to frame it that way. I think that she’s in the wrong, as the way she frames it fails to communicate vital information, and she’s been framing it as if my side is silly." 

If he really thinks the one-and-a-half hour-long breakup is "vital information" to communicate to anyone who asks, how hard is it to say, "We've been together for six years, with one minor hiccup." Ew, but now that I'm thinking about that, it's gross. Why can't he just acknowledge his relationship? 

I don't know if this guy was prepared for the amount of ire he got from commenters. I'm sure he thought at least some people would be on his side, but that really wasn't the case. "Your GF is right here," one person wrote. "You're being a pedantic twit and diminishing your relationship. Why do you feel the need to do this?"

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Source: iStock Photo

"YTA you sound kind of insufferable," another wrote. Take out the "kind of" and I agree wholeheartedly. 

Someone else used his faulty logic and applied to another scenario to illustrate just how silly he's being. 

"'How long have you worked here?'

"'Three hours?'

"'Huh?'

"'Well, actually I go home every evening so I count my employment in discrete blocks of time.'"

It's insanity! 

I really hope his girlfriend finds this post, realizes just how much of an a-hole he is, and breaks up with him for good. Then, when he's crying and begging her to take him back, she can say, "What? We were only together for a year. It's not like we dated for like, six years or anything."