featured upset woman
Source: iStock Photo / Reddit

Man's Wife Is Suddenly Denying That They Ever Got Married


Jul. 1 2020, Updated 1:07 p.m. ET

This Reddit Relationship_Advice post is quite unnerving. OP explains that he and his wife have been married for nearly five years and have generally had a solid relationship. They had a fairly large, expensive wedding that they are still paying for.

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His wife took on the bulk of the wedding planning and designed it largely to her taste. She seemed to enjoy the whole wedding process and even for the first few years of their marriage, they would look back at their wedding together and remember it happily. But in the last few months, her entire attitude toward the wedding has shifted, and it's at the point now where she refuses to acknowledge it actually happened.

upset couple
Source: iStock Photo
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It began when she started referring to herself as OP's "girlfriend." He thought it was a joke at first, when she was insistent that he, for example, buy her a "girlfriend" card for Valentine's Day. 

He thought she was just playing around, but then she stopped wearing her wedding ring, claiming that she didn't like the "sensation of jewelry on her hands." He was upset and pressed her because he thought something might be wrong in their relationship, but she insisted she just didn't like wearing the ring.

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Now, when they are with friends, his wife gets upset if he refers to her as his "wife" rather than his "girlfriend." She'll interrupt him to "correct" him. At first, their friends also thought it was a joke, but she's evidently serious about it and now it's just really awkward.

One of their friends who is engaged and wedding planning asked his wife for advice about how she planned their wedding, and she responded with, "What wedding?" As the conversation continued, his wife teared up and had to leave the table.

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upset woman
Source: iStock Photo

OP knew that something was wrong, so he asked her point-blank if she had a problem with their relationship or if he was doing something wrong. She assured him they were fine, and until the last couple of months, he writes that their relationship had been "as strong as ever." 

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Yet, she mysteriously denies that they ever got married and gets upset when someone else brings up the fact that she's a wife and had a wedding. It's strange. 

The resounding advice from commenters was to get his wife to a doctor immediately. She may be having some sort of "disconnect from reality" or breakdown, and she needs professional help. 

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And it very well could be a mental illness that's making her break with reality. If it truly is sudden behavior, perhaps something traumatic happened that OP is not privy to. But there is another explanation, one that would also require a doctor's exam.

upset woman
Source: iStock Photo
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"If she got upset when friends talked about her table decorations it sounds like OP's wife genuinely believes they are not married," one person wrote. "I know two people who acted weird and did really crazy and dangerous things totally out of character...because their meds had messed up their calcium levels. Go to a doctor."

Someone else suggested that it could be a brain tumor. "This happened to a friend of mine and he started losing parts of his memories," they wrote. "He had a tumor the size of a kiwi they had to remove."

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Whether it's a mental or physical illness, something is obviously wrong. It's got to be so scary to see your partner denying basic reality, but I imagine it's equally as scary for this poor woman, who clearly believes she's never been married and has everyone in her life telling her she is.

While some suggested confronting her head-on about the topic, asking her directly why she wants to be called his "girlfriend," and even showing her pictures from their wedding, one commenter suggests just the opposite. "Be gentle with her," they write. "If she is on the brink of some kind of emotional collapse? You don't want to be the one who pushes her over the edge by demanding answers...

"As someone who has personally experienced some very serious mental health problems that included a sudden loss of short term memory, I cannot tell you just how SCARY it is to feel betrayed by your own mind like that. Get her some help immediately."

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