Frustrated Mom Explains the Mental Load of Parenting Duties Always Falling on Her

Melissa Willets - Author

Dec. 4 2023, Published 12:34 p.m. ET

A mom of a two-and-a-half-year-old is sharing "a real-life example of the mental load" from her life from just one day.

Paige, who like her husband is a working parent, experienced something so relatable, that you'll feel like she read your mind.

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The mom of four, who shares content on TikTok using the handle @sheisapaigeturner, explains in a short video that her daughter came home from preschool that day sporting a completely different outfit.

But the logistics behind what she was wearing reveal so much about shared parenting duties — or should I say non-shared duties.

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The mental load of being a mom is all about having to remember and coordinate every single detail of your family's life.

As Paige shares in her TikTok, she knows that her little girl's outfit changed from that morning because she dresses her little one every day since her husband is already at work at that time.

Later that day, when she questions her husband about what had happened to the child's original attire, he says she got something messy on the clothes and then had an accident. But that didn't explain why the child was wearing a long-sleeve shirt in nearly 100-degree heat.

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"They told me she didn't have any short sleeve shirts in her extra clothes," he then explained. For non-parents, a preschool will typically ask that you send a little one in with at least one change of clothes to keep on hand in case they have a potty accident.

But that's as far as the husband goes with that ball. So, we are left with a mom at her wit's end. No, not over a change of clothes because this is just one example of how many things Paige has to run with once her husband decides he has taken an issue far enough.

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Dad was just a messenger, but why?

As the parents' conversation continues, according to Paige, she then asks her husband, "Did you check her extra clothes bin?" to which he answers "No."

The thing is, as the creator explains, her daughter took short-sleeve shirts to school two days ago.

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The mom wonders if the replenished shirts are in the wrong kid's box at school, or what.

Next, the frustrated mom questions her husband as to whether he put new shirts in their daughter's backpack to take to school the next day. Spoiler alert: He didn't.

"This is the mental load," Paige vents, going on to tell TikTokers about how her husband relays information to her, but doesn't follow through to resolve an issue on his own, leaving the burden on her.

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Things like this have "always been on me," Paige shares, and moms everywhere are nodding in empathy.

"This is one person knowing something needs to be done, but not doing it," she continues. Moms are about to break their necks from such vigorous nodding.

"This is why so many women are exhausted," she then opines, going on to say that "stupid and small" tasks accumulate until we can't take it anymore and we are drowning.

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As a mom of five over here, well, duh. In my case, I kind of accept that I'll just end up doing tasks like this, whether it's remembering to pack the school lunches or having clean sheets on the bed.

It's always on me to know homework due dates, carpool schedules, when we need milk in the fridge, and when the kids last had a bath.

Sure, I get frustrated sometimes that all of these things fall on me. But I get my revenge when someone throws up on the rug or poops in the pool. That falls under my husband's sphere of influence. And I never feel bad. Not even for a second.

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