Imagine living in a world where, for years, you had to type on typewriters or handwrite letters and send them through the mail to keep in touch with your friends. Then, all of a sudden, you're thrust into a whirlwind of emojis, "like" buttons, and memes that make no sense. What even is a meme? What I'm saying is that it's hard out there for old people who are just trying to participate in the world of social media.
Oh, but just to be clear, I don't mean we shouldn't laugh at them when they royally mess up. It's our right, as young, tech-savvy, multi-tasking, and fast-learning whiz kids, to eviscerate old people for the hilariously weird things they do on social media. If they're going to blame us for killing every industry and buying too much avocado toast when their generation royally screwed us over, we are most certainly allowed to make fun of them for typing their Google searches into their Facebook statuses.
1. Brave admission
At least Grandma isn't afraid to admit she has no idea how to use social media. She still managed a nice purple background, though, so go Grandma.
2. Search and post
I want to kiss my fingers like an Italian chef anytime I see people accidentally post a status of something they meant to search for. It's always perfect. This person didn't seem to get what they did the first, second, third, fourth...or fifth time, either, which is just precious.
3. Stop advertising
If only it was that easy to get companies to stop advertising on your Instagram feed. This is like in The Office when Michael comes out of his office and screams, "I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!" That's just not how it works. Sorry.
I love this so much. I want to print it out and frame it. But I'll make sure to put it in the corner of the frame so only the top of it is peeking out.
5. Photo inception
Why yes, this person did take a picture of a photo on their phone (presumably with another phone? or an actual camera?) and then post that photo in their listing. But they must have gotten the photo of the photo on their phone in order to upload it so why not just upload the original photo from the phone that it was on? Now I'm confusing myself.
6. Wrong photo
But then again, a photo of a photo is preferable to a topless selfie of the seller of the gaming PC instead of a picture of the actual gaming PC. When it said, "Choose photo," did he think that meant any photo whatsoever? I have so many questions.
"You look so cute here, Tell your mom that she gave me a foot fungus from when I borrowed her shoes and now she's dead to me. Love you, Tell your brother that the test results came back and it's positive, he should call me. Happy Birthday, I'm so lonely."
8. Bike man
I'm sorry, but look at the smirk on that cartoon hipster riding a bike. He knows exactly what he's doing.*
*How to make your uncle accidentally post him on inappropriate stories all over Facebook
9. New account
Who's going to explain to grandma that just because you get a new phone doesn't mean you have to make a new account. The old account still exists... you just have to download the app again. Where does it exist? In the cloud. What's the cloud? I don't know, Grandma, just accept it.
Either someone butt-posted a status to Facebook or this is an elaborate code that only the robots who are definitely taking over the world can understand. Honestly, I'm not sure which scenario is more plausible at this point.
11. Dark forest moss
Um, what. This is how we all found out Grandma is actually a witch who steals little children, cooks them up in giant cauldrons, and eats them. Stop sharing your secrets on Facebook, Grandma!
12. All the nuts
Jeff needs to know what nut. What nut for what reason? I don't know. Just tell him a nut. Pistachio. Is that OK? Pecan? How about Brazil nuts? Jeff, I just want you to be happy with your nut selection.
13. Wrong guy
Literally no one asked you, Blake. This person posted this question on the town "Chatter" page. Just because it showed up on your timeline does not mean it was directed at you. Blakes always make things about them.
14. Delete delete
Hot tip: Commenting on a post won't delete it. Also, commenting on a comment on a post won't delete anything. Apparently, this person did this on like 12 different posts. I hope that they eventually figured it out because no one else should be subjected to this. Social media is already frustrating enough.
15. Out of business
Yes, she received a call from Mr. Microsoft simply informing her that the company has gone out of business. Mr. Microsoft was sitting in his now-empty office, packing up the last of his things, when it hit him. "My goodness!" he exclaimed. "I almost forgot to call Carol and tell her the news."
16. Air fryer frustration
Social media is a place where many people feel empowered to say exactly what they feel. It's easy to hide behind an avatar and the anonymity of the internet when slandering people who like air fryers. It's abhorrent behavior, and frankly, it has to stop.
17. Erase the app
Cut to six days later. He's tired and disheveled, sitting defeated in front of his phone, where the Nextdoor app sits, smugly still existing on his screen. He tried to get rid of it, but he couldn't figure out how. So that's it. He's moving. Zoom out to his empty apartment. "I will no longer be...next door," he whispers determinedly. He gets up and walks out, closing the door behind him. And, scene!
What? This seems perfectly logical to me. It's clearly the letter M's birthday, and Aunt Sue just wanted to celebrate with balloons. She's a lover of the English language and the alphabet. Who can blame her?
19. Big ball in the sky
I'm going to say a pretty definitive yes. When you see a big ball in the sky, it's the moon. Unless you're at a baseball game and there's a ball rapidly hurtling toward your head, it's definitely the moon. This nonsense is not what social media is for.
20. So much love
Grandma has so much love for the people who know how to post. She doesn't know how to post, but she loves the people who can post. Post away all day knowing Grandma is so proud of you and your posting abilities. (I don't actually have any idea what she's talking about here.)
21. Inner thoughts
There are some thoughts that should remain inside your brain and never make it to the Facebook comment section. This is one of them. Old people haven't quite figured out how to not post everything they're feeling on social media for the world to see. It's incredible.