Xander and Yoly Opened Up About Their Relationship After 'The Ultimatum: Queer Love'

Now that Yoly and Mal have gone their separate ways after 'The Ultimatum: Queer Love,' fans can’t help but wonder: are Xander and Yoly dating?

Haylee Thorson - Author

Jun. 7 2023, Published 1:57 p.m. ET

Yoly and Xander say goodbye in The Ultimatum: Queer Love season finale
Source: Netflix

Spoiler Alert: This article contains spoilers for The Ultimatum: Queer Love.

It’s no secret many fans of The Ultimatum: Queer Love were rooting for Xander and Yoly.

After the reality stars chose one another as their partners for the three-week trial marriage during the experiment, they fell hard and fast. From being intimate to saying, “I love you,” Xander and Yoly couldn’t believe how deeply they connected physically and emotionally.

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That said, viewers were 99 percent sure they’d leave their original partners for the other — despite being the ultimatum issuers. So when Mal proposed to Yoly in Episode 8, it seemed Yoly would reject her partner of three years to be with her trial wife. However, that ended up being far from the case.

But now that Yoly and Mal have gone their separate ways, fans can’t help but wonder: are Xander and Yoly dating now?

Yoly from ‘The Ultimatum: Queer Love’ accepts Mal's proposal
Source: Netflix
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Are Xander and Yoly from ‘The Ultimatum: Queer Love’ dating now?

In Episode 9 of the LGBTQ+ dating series, Yoly accepts Mal’s proposal despite still being in love with Xander. To make matters worse, Xander breaks up with her original partner, Vanessa, and later approaches a newly-engaged Yoly to suggest giving their romance a shot.

Ultimately, Yoly still chooses her Mal over Xander. But considering The Ultimatum: Queer Love was filmed in 2021, a lot happened over the past two years. Are Yoly and Xander dating in 2023?

The short answer: No. Although Yoly and Mal ended their engagement several weeks after filming wrapped, Xander and Yoly never rekindled their relationship. However, that didn’t mean they stayed out of each others’ lives completely.

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What happened to Xander and Yoly after ‘The Ultimatum: Queer Love’?

Xander and Yoly reunite during ‘The Ultimatum: Queer Love’ reunion
Source: Netflix

Unsurprisingly, neither Xander nor Yoly could stifle their feelings for one another after The Ultimatum: Queer Love ended.

When speaking with PEOPLE about how their dynamic evolved post-show, Xander revealed she kept in contact with Yoly after the finale but pulled back when she sensed Yoly's engagement with Mal was on the rocks. However, once Mal and Yoly went their separate ways, Xander reached out again.

“We came back together, but not in an 'I'm interested in you' kind of way, more of a friend zone,” Xander explained. “And then just from there… It didn't do too much. There wasn't much there afterward." Despite never becoming romantically involved again, both reality stars remained cordial.

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Yoly revealed to the outlet that six months after filming, they met at Coachella purely platonically. She admitted that neither she nor her trial wife was in the right head space to pursue a serious relationship, saying, “I think we were both just in different places of our healing journey."

Yoly also explained that she and Xander wanted separate things out of life, hinting that they likely wouldn’t have worked out even if they did choose each other in the finale. “There [are] so many things there that I'm drawn to still,” Yoly admitted. “But I think just fundamentally, we need different things."

The Ultimatum: Queer Love is now streaming on Netflix.

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