I saw Suicide Squad opening night with a friend of mine. The theatre was completely sold out. Within five minutes everyone there asked themselves what the hell they just signed up for. Afterwards my friend and I spent an hour discussing how is possible for people who make movies for a living end up with a product that was that big of a mess.
As it turns out, other people who make movies for a living disagreed and decided to give Suicide Squad their industry's highest honor. It was a completely shocking turn of events. I can't imagine any crazier happening. The Oscars always seem like they have it together.
Anyway, us peasants sitting at home would not take this injustice sitting down. So we did what we always do in a time of crisis. We went on Twitter and complained.
The Suicide Squad makeup team sat with Jared Leto for three hours every day. They don't deserve an Oscar, they deserve a Nobel Peace Prize.— Bailey Meyers (@baileymeyers) February 27, 2017
>suicide squad wins best hair styling— trashymatsu (@midydoof) February 27, 2017
Don't wash your hair for a week and buy a dollar store can of hair dye and you too can win an oscar
you can't just give an award to Suicide Squad and not expect chaos to take hold immediately— Molly Lambert (@mollylambert) February 27, 2017
*Logs into Twitter*— Miles Luna (@TheMilesLuna) February 27, 2017
"Oscar Award-Winning Suicide Squad"
*Logs off Twitter*
Honestly, it feels so great to put our differences aside for one night, as a nation united, to shit on Suicide Squad one last time— Ben Rosen (@Rosen) February 27, 2017
SUICIDE SQUAD winning an Oscar is exactly what our dumb world deserves— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) February 27, 2017
Suicide Squad, which just won an Oscar, was produced by Seth Mnuchin, the current Treasury Secretary. I love this simulation.— Matt Christman (@cushbomb) February 27, 2017
"Oscar Award Winning Film Suicide Squad" is about the most triggering thing we can think of.— Los Feliz Daycare (@LosFelizDaycare) February 27, 2017
I can't believe Suicide Squad won an Oscar for writing damaged on Jared Leto's forehead— Stephanie Cohen (@steffi955) February 27, 2017
If Suicide Squad can win an Oscar, you can ask that girl on a date.— Conor McDonald (@notthefakeCMcD) February 27, 2017
Gotham City Sirens trailer voice over guy: "From the director who brought you the Academy Award winning Suicide Squad comes the next instal-— Sylvie. (@u_sylvie) February 27, 2017
Suicide Squad won an Oscar. I've seen everything.— Barbara Dunkelman (@bdunkelman) February 27, 2017
The Oscar Award Winning SUICIDE SQUAD. I'm going to kill myself— Brandon Calvillo (@BJCalvillo) February 27, 2017
These celebrities, from Oprah Winfrey to RuPaul, owe their careers to their former teachers.