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'Suicide Squad' Won An Oscar And Twitter Is Not Having It

By Zachary Brenner

I saw Suicide Squad opening night with a friend of mine. The theatre was completely sold out. Within five minutes everyone there asked themselves what the hell they just signed up for.  Afterwards my friend and I spent an hour discussing how is possible for people who make movies for a living end up with a product that was that big of a mess.

As it turns out, other people who make movies for a living disagreed and decided to give Suicide Squad their industry's highest honor. It was a completely shocking turn of events. I can't imagine any crazier happening.  The Oscars always seem like they have it together.

Anyway, us peasants sitting at home would not take this injustice sitting down. So we did what we always do in a time of crisis. We went on Twitter and complained.  

1. Why don't cartoons ever win?