Some People's Spotify Wrapped Results Are Revealing Some Uncomfortable Truths
By Robin ZlotnickUpdated
Spotify Wrapped takes all the music you listened to this year (and throughout the decade) and throws it in front of your face as if it's not the most embarrassing thing you'll ever see in your entire life. Twitter is currently ablaze with people sharing their Spotify Wrapped stats. Some own their shame. Others blame their dads for taking over their accounts. One thing is certain: Spotify Wrapped has held a mirror up to society, and what it has reflected back is too shocking to handle.
"Doesn't that make you sad?"
Did I cringe because all of my top songs from the decade were from one artist? Maybe. Does that make no sense because why am I ashamed that I like to listen to whole albums, that used to be a thing everyone did and just because the music landscape has changed doesn't mean I have to change my listening habits? Yes. I mean no. I don't know anymore.
So accurate
The thing about Spotify Wrapped is that it doesn't lie. It literally cannot. It is based on actual data. So if you went through a week-long phase where you listened to classical music all day every day, it's going to show up on your Spotify Wrapped. I learned this the hard way.
Diversity
love 2 diversify my assets pic.twitter.com/MhlhDUWnaf
— rachel handler (@rachel_handler) December 5, 2019
The stats don't lie. If you go hard on Ariana Grande, it's gonna show up to haunt you at the end of the decade. But I think what this says is that she is a loyal fan, and that's nothing to sneeze at.
Pop Rap
People were freaking out because their top genre was labeled as "Pop Rap" and...what is that? That's not a genre anyone has ever identified before. Spotify out here making up types of music.
Sleep tracks
Spotify wrapped isn’t as fun when you listen to the same sleep tracks every night for 365 days pic.twitter.com/Vh2tuN0Kxe
— frog in bronzer (@sexyasthmatic) December 5, 2019
This is what I'm talking about! You listen to the same white noise tracks to fall asleep for a year, and suddenly this guy is all over your Spotify Wrapped. I'm going to call this one a design flaw.
The truth
There's no denying the truth that Spotify Wrapped reveals! No matter who you think you are, what image you try to portray to the world, Spotify Wrapped sees you and it will expose you.
Destroyed by dad
This is the problem with sharing your Spotify account with family members. Dads always ruin the end-of-year round up by listening to their music while building decks. Classic problem. Obviously, the solution is a family plan where dad gets his own weird account.
this is fucking foul. sorry that i slept with a fan noise two nights in a hotel because my mom was snoring spotify jfc just fucking rub it in pic.twitter.com/fru2wtQe6T
— bea ❄️ (@cardcaptorjk) December 5, 2019
This one is so funny. It seems like it's throwing so much shade at her for listening to that one Box Fan track. It might as well say, "You explored 1 of their songs (like a psychopath), listened to 0 of their albums (how you do even do that?!), and spend over 12 hours with them (get some help)."
The right headspace
Sure, this might be a meme going around right now, but it's truly applicable to this situation. They should warn you before they assault you with all your music choices from the past ten years.
No man's land
Oh my god. She's right. There are three weeks of free Spotify time that won't end up on Spotify Wrapped 2019 because that's already out, and it won't end up on Spotify Wrapped 2020 because it's not 2020 yet. This is the time to get really into Mongolian throat singing. (Look it up. It's crazy.)