A Zombie Apocalypse Is Nothing the CDC Can't Handle

If Michel de Nostradamus was right in his prophecies, zombies might be coming to get us in 2021. The 16th century French astrologer allegedly predicted that in 2021, there would be a rise of "few young people: half-dead to give a start," which many are taking to understand as a prophecy for a zombie apocalypse.

How to prepare for such an event is far from evident. What provision does one stock up on? Does the CDC have a zombie plan?

As luck would have it, the Center for Disease Control has a whole page devoted to zombie preparedness. Keep reading to learn more about it.

It's pretty wild that the same federal agency in charge of communicating COVID-19 messaging also has an entire section of their site dedicated to zombie preparedness, but it's the truth!

And while including the walking dead on their extensive list of catastrophes might strike some readers as very 2021, the Zombie Preparedness page has actually lived on the cdc.gov website for the past 10 years.

The Zombie Preparedness campaign initiative began in 2011, and has been overwhelmingly successful in teaching a wide variety of audiences about hazard preparedness through the lens of the undead.

Writes the CDC, "What first began as a tongue-in-cheek campaign to engage new audiences with preparedness messages has proven to be a very effective platform."

Indeed, the CDC's "Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse" page gives rather useful advice when it comes to the things we need to do "before zombies ... or hurricanes or pandemics for example, actually happen."

The agency advises to have an emergency kit at home that has essential things like water and food, and also recommends setting aside supplies like medication, tools, sanitation and hygiene essentials, clothing and bedding, important documents, and first aid supplies."

They're quite humorous about all their advice, though. In a parenthetical beside their recommendation to pack first aid supplies, the CDC writes, "(although you’re a goner if a zombie bites you, you can use these supplies to treat basic cuts and lacerations that you might get during a tornado or hurricane)."

And once you have your emergency kit packed up, the federal agency advises to "sit down with your family and come up with an emergency plan." 

"This includes where you would go and who you would call if zombies started appearing outside your door step," they explain. "You can also implement this plan if there is a flood, earthquake, or other emergency."

As the CDC sees it, we're all better off safe than sorry. By way of introducing "Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse," the organization recommends caution: "You may laugh now, but when [a zombie apocalypse] happens you'll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you'll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency."

And if zombies somehow do start roaming the streets, the CDC might just be America's most prepared federal agency. "CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak," they promise. "CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation."

Phew! One less thing to worry about!