This past Halloween one of the worst tragedies ever befell me.
Now I ordered my costume a bit late, but managed to throw something together to make pretty much the best Macho Man Savage Costume possible.
We're talking Zubaz Pants.
The shutter shades...
I mean, I could go on about the bandana and the wrist straps and the little tassels I was going to tie to my arms, I was going to look so much like the dearly-departed Macho Man Randy Savage that I'd probably start crying in a fit of nostalgia if I looked in the mirror.
With my beard grown out and a very amazing Halloween party happening the very next night, I saw my package was delivered. I was out of the house, so I messaged my wife to go downstairs and pick it up.
In a 20 minute window from delivery to front door retrieval, however, tragedy struck. Someone apparently stole my package right from my doorstep. This was pretty much my reaction to the thief who burgled the box from my front door.
The Amazon delivery person even snapped a photo of the box, proving they did their job. It wasn't the first time I've had a package taken from my front home, but it was the first time it ever happened when my delivery was time sensitive.
Amazon was kind enough to issue me a full refund because they're the greatest company in the world, but it didn't change the fact that I had to go to my party as Donald Trump.
I spent many a night wondering just how in the world I was going to get back at the vile thief who stole my package.
And coincidentally, I hatched a plot similar to the one this woman did to exact revenge. Except mine involved animal feces, and not the fecal matter of a child.
Angie Bullock had a delivery nabbed from right off of her front porch that packed a cute Christmas outfit for her four-month-old baby, Ben.
So you can imagine how peeved she was to discover that someone stole her baby's clothes right from under her. She wanted to teach the thief a lesson.
"Honestly, I was just mad...I was looking around the house thinking, 'What is something I could put in a package that would just be horrendous?'" She told INSIDE EDITION.
She ultimately decided on Ben's soiled diapers. She taped up the box with an Amazon label and then strategically placed it in a location that was easily spied from the street.
The bait worked, someone picked up the package. If there is justice in this world, they opened it in their car and were greeted with a huge box of poop.
Bullock called the police to let them know of the stolen pajamas, along with her special vengeance package. The cops found the whole thing hilarious.
"The police officer was dying laughing when I told her about it, 'Well, this is going to go around the briefing room. Little did I know it would go around the internet."
Ben's grandparents ordered a new outfit for the baby so the family could continue their Christmas tradition of posing in their pajamas before they open their gifts. The family plans on installing a security system soon.