A few weeks ago I was playing a video game online when another player catcalled my female avatar. So, ladies, I get it. I completely understand your experience of getting cat called on the street. I am woke now.
I know exactly how stressful it is to have an elf with two swords riding a falcon ambush you with what he thinks are compliments. I know that trying to be nice back because you’re afraid he might get angry and launch a fireball at you and take your helmet that you spent weeks trying to get it. I also know the sheer relief when you open your social menu and click the mute button.
Turns out though some fellows have not had this very eye opening and very accurate experience. Maybe it’s because they don’t want to learn, or maybe it’s because they are filthy noobs who don’t even know the difference between a kobold and a troll. Whatever the case may be, take note gentlemen.
One time a guy in high school said he liked my smile and wanted to cum on my dimples. It was the first time we had met
“I’ve got Yellow Fever.”
…………………….ok? Ew. Stop. Don’t hit on me just because I’m Asian.
When people call me milk chocolate, African princess, nubian queen. Like calm down
I’m a black chick with dreadlocks so I attract a lot of hoteps and weird “spiritual” old dudes. I’ve been told I look like “black Jesus” and “one of the original Hebrews–you know they were African. They don’t want you to know your history!!”
Men who feel the need to point out how big my tits are. A guy that I saw around campus DM’ed me on instagram and said, “just thought you should know, you have some really big boobs.” No shit, they aren’t on my chest or anything.
“I like women like you. Cute, but not pretty.” Also, every time my family takes out our boat and puts it in the water i do the rope (pull it to the dock when it floats off the trailer). A man offers to help, i refuse, and then they comment on how amazing it is I was able to do that. Ive been doing it since I was 9, its not hard at all…
Any compliment that follows the “you sure are x for a y.” Such as, “you sure are pretty for a woman your age.” Or “you sure are smart for a girl.”
Just bad form all around.
I think the best one recently is, “Oh, you don’t look like you’re Mexican”. “You’re so pretty for being Mexican”. Like what???? Am I supposed to have sombrero and mustache, orrrrrr???
“You’d make great wifey material” said by a guy who has never even met you.
“You’re hot for an Asian” and “I’ve always wanted to get with an Asian”
1) didn’t know Asians were universally ugly, and that I’m an exception
2) thanks for reducing me to a check mark on your bucketlist
“Damnnnn girl, you’re built like a Chevy truck!”. The fuck?
“Oh wow, you do * insert normal activity * really good for a girl!”
takes off glasses to clean them “You look pretty without glasses”
I appreciate being called pretty but I need my glasses to see.
“You should smile more” Just tell me my smile is pretty
“You look really cute when you’re mad.”
Okay… I feel neither complimented nor less mad
When a guy you just met makes lewd “compliments”, such as “I bet you taste great”
You look great for your age.
I don’t know if it’s meant as a compliment, but when a man calls me a ‘good girl’
Am redhead. Really sick of guys telling me they’re “super into redheads” or “I only date redheads.” Way to make me feel like that’s the only thing that matters about me for you…
You look better with your hair down. You should always have it like that.
” you’re hot for whatever race you are”. tinder deleted
After a woman does something really badass or something that demonstrates how smart she is…don’t immediately complement her looks, it’s not as nice as you may mean it to be!
Nice tits. I’m fifteen so that freaks me out.
I got this one on OKCupid a few weeks ago: “You look okay for an average woman.”
“A lesbian? But you’re so pretty, you could find a boyfriend real quick.”
A guy desperate for attention: “Hey I noticed you have [insert flaw] … but it looks good on you!”
The flaw is usually something pretty obvious that others are aware of but too polite to bring up: like a massive scar, messed up teeth, or a slightly lazy eye.
Thanks, I’m aware of that particular feature and I try not to think about it or draw attention to it. Now my self-esteem is shot.
“You’re too pretty to be Latina” and all of its variations. Dude, Latin America is full of beautiful women and also full of ugly women, just like any other part of the world. Insulting my ethnicity won’t get you anywhere…
I was wearing a form fitting dress and my boyfriend of the time said, “you look like a sexy sausage.”
There was a lot of explaining and backtracking afterwards.
I’ve had a few instances of guys I barely talked to in a college class text me after the course has ended and told me how much they loved looking at my ass in class. like what. thats creepy.
“You’re different than other women, I can tell because I can read people well.” – Something along these lines is said exclusively by “nice guys”.
When I moved across the country a couple of months ago, I was trying to find a short-term place to stay while I looked around for an apartment to make my home. I've gone through my share of shady sublets, and was so worried I wouldn't land a spot that I started looking for one to book months in advance. On my first day of browsing, I came across a gorgeous and affordable one-bedroom in a really convenient location, but was super skeptical of the post because of how traumatized I am from my previous experiences.
I've dealt with creeps who ask for a cash deposit then claim they're in the hospital on the exact same day they're supposed to meet me for the keys. I've had people cancel my reservation once I've already landed in their city... Needless to say, I'm a seasoned subletter. When I found this lovely one-bedroom on Craigslist, I was sure the listing was too good to be true. So I took a proactively defensive stance when I reached out via email. I asked for boring specifications on the apartment and went over payment details with exhaustive thoroughness. I even asked if a friend could stop by to make sure there were no secret squatter tenants, or anything sketchy like that. Then, I got an email back.
TWIST: I recognized the address from the gushing fan mail I had sent it years ago. The apartment belonged to my favorite living writer and here I was, casually emailing with her directly. Flash forward a few months and we're friendly and occasionally email each other or meet for coffee to catch up. And that's how my nightmare sublet search turned into a friendship with one of the best and most famous writers of our time.
I live for real-life plot twists like this. They keep us on our toes while we cruise through this journey of life. Which is why when u/whytho37 asked Reddit to share their most insane plot twists, the results were incredible.
Scroll down for twists so good, you wouldn't believe they actually happened if you saw them in a film.