The CIA has solemnly announced that an 18-month-old labrador from their bomb-sniffing program has been put into early retirement. Why? Lulu does not want to work for the dang government, okay? Lulu's refusal to participate in the system was rolled out on Twitter, along with many photos of Lulu looking sadly around, as though to ask, "Is this all there is? Sniffing?" Clearly the CIA life just isn't exciting enough for this laid-back pupper.
“We’re sad to announce that a few weeks into training, Lulu began to show signs that she wasn’t interested in detecting explosive odors,” the CIA wrote. “Sometimes a pup is bored and needs more playtime, sometimes they need a little break, or it’s a minor medical condition a like a food allergy. But for some dogs, like Lulu, it becomes clear that the issue isn’t temporary. Instead, this just isn’t the job they are meant for.”
But don't despair. Unlike when a human doesn't want to do their job anymore, Lulu the dog got to go live in a nice home and get fed treats. Her handler chose to adopt her, and she'll be spending her days playing with kids and chasing squirrels in the backyard. The CIA makes it sound like she died, but actually, Lulu has just begun to truly live.
"When a pup is removed or retires from our K9 program, the handler & their family is given the chance to adopt them and many do," they wrote, concluding, “We’ll miss Lulu, but this was the right decision for her."
Lulu's not the only dog to refuse to work for government organizations. Don't forget Gavel, who couldn't hack it on the police force:
Run free, Lulu! Damn the Man!
More from Distractify